on a more "happy" note...

this song comes on and i stop dead in my tracks: it speaks to me...

Verse 1:
Someone once told me that you have to choose
What you win or lose
You can't have everything
Don't cha take chances
Might feel the pain
Don't cha love in vain
Cause love won't set you free
I could stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
So unhappy
But safe as could be

Chorus:
So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear myself
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
Cause I'm just trying to be happy, yeah
Just wanna be happy, yeah

Verse 2:
Holding on tightly
Just can't let it go
Just trying to play my role
Slowly disappear, ohh
All these days I feel like they're the same
Just different faces, different names
Get me outta here
I can't stand by your side, ohh no
Watch this life pass me by, pass me by

Chorus:
So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear myself
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
Cause I'm just trying to be happy, ohh, happy, ohh

Bridge:
So and it's just that I can't see
The kind of stranger on this road
But don't say victim
Don't say anything

Chorus:
So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear myself
Don't care about all the pain in front of me

Outro:
I just wanna be happy
Ohh, yeah, happy, ohh, happy
I just wanna be, ohh
I just wanna be happy
Ohh, happy

--Leona Lewis "Happy"

randoms before the hospital...

i leave in an hour for the hospital. another epidural. i am praying this takes and undones what the old doc did in regards to my pain level. i have never had this much leg issue before. not even when i first injured myself. i mean, why does my leg feel like its barely hanging on by the tendons?? i know what the MRI showed, that bad disc is all hard and nasty and pushing into my spinal nervy column thingy. and it burns! oh gods it burns sometimes in my back like a fire and my muscles start to spasm and i can't walk right for hours.

(yes, i am trying to not be so serious or else i'll bawl and bawl)

you know its kinda scary when your man is caressing your leg and your like "was that a fly" and he pushes harder and so THAT feels like a caress... yeap, losing sensation topicaly. have we touched that yet? i think we have, i don't remember anymore.

i talked to my dad last night. the deal fell through with them selling the house. the buyers backed out at the last minute and decided they couldn't afford it. wtf? good thing they hadn't put in an offer on the property they wanted...

havn't heard from Pebbles on her baby status. (she dropped the bomb at Raquel's graduation...) per daddy she was supose to go to the doc (for the 1st time) yesterday. and my texts have gone unanswered...

speaking of texts gone unanswered... i think my phone and/or carrier might be the issue. CandidBeauty doesn't get my texts either sometimes. and Suga claims to not get any at all yet i get hers no problemo but we're still on the fence as to her true friendship quality... it wouldn't surprise me one bit if she was purposly ignoring my phone calls and texts.

i should send out a new wedding file to my peoples... some stuff has changed since i did last...

ps... i woke up this morning and joe was all snuggly on me. i loves him!! i love waking up in his arms and falling asleep with my head nustled on his chest. gives me all fluttery feelings when i think of it.

Beyonce "Halo"
Remember those walls I built?
Well, baby they're tumbling down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make a sound
I found a way to let you in
But, I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of your halo
I got my angel now

It's like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
It's the risk that I'm taking
I ain't never gonna shut you out!

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby, I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace
You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby, I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

and then last night i was flicking through music ondemand and found some shinedown songs... and Candid Beauty had touched a few days ago about how eminem's lyrics affect her and the prescription drug stuff... shinedown has always gotten me with these 2 songs... i use to play them constantly and once upon a time they were my ring tones...

"45"
Send away for a priceless gift
One not subtle, one not on the list
Send away for a perfect world
One not simply, so absurd
In these times of doing what you're told
Keep these feelings, no one knows
What ever happened to the young man's heart
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart

And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45,
I'm swimming through the ashes of another life
There's no real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrel of a 45

Send a message to the unborn child
Keep your eyes open for a while
In a box high up on the shelf, left for you, no one else
There's a piece of a puzzle known as life
Wrapped in guilt, sealed up tight

What ever happened to the young man's heart
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart

[CHORUS]

Everyone's pointing their fingers
Always condemning me
And nobody knows what I believe
I believe

[CHORUS]

"Save Me"

I got a candle
And I've got a spoon
I live in a hallway with no doors
And no rooms

Under a windowsill
They all were found
A touch of concrete within the doorway
Without a sound

Someone save me if you will
And take away all these pills
And please just save me if you can
From my blasphemy in my wasteland

How did I get here
And what went wrong
Couldn't handle forgiveness
Now I'm far beyond gone

I can hardly remember
The look of my own eyes
How can I love this a life so dishonest
It made me compromise

Someone save me if you will
And take away all these pills
And please just save me if you can
From my blasphemy in my wasteland

Jump in the water
Jump in with me
Jump on the altar
Lay down with me

The hardest question to answer
Is why

Why

Someone save me if you will
And take away all these pills
And please just save me if you can
From my blasphemy in my wasteland

Someone save me
Someone save me
Somebody save me
Somebody save me
Please don't erase me

i'm so excited

I just can't hide it. I want I want I want I want I want you to know......

by this time Friday (not to be confused with today friday) we will be in the last leggs (hopefully Drake won't be too much of a pain in the ass) of the 1st part of trip and be VERY close to Dropping off the "kids" at Hephaestus' house.

I hate to brag... but you know I think I deserve my vacation to Florida and the trips between Here and There to visit my Family in ARKANSAS...

On another note: if I didn't know any better I'd have to say that today was one of the worst days ever.

1st off I was informed by HR person that my next check (2 weeks out) would be paper... NOT direct deposited. Why do you ask? Well, I got a new bank account at a National Bank Chain (money back on my purchases, higher interest rate on my savings & CDs... who wouldn't switch?? I'm all for getting more money in my pocket and having a Branch in most states that I visit JUST in case and ofcourse the headquarters are in FLORIDA)

ok, back to my pissy morning... She tells me that my next check will be paper and I can pick it up on Friday from Akira... PROBLEM! I WILL FUCKING BE IN FLORIDA. And even bigger problem... I HAVE DIRECT DEBIT AUTO PAYMENTS ON MY FURNITURE AND INSURANCE. Son of a BITCH! this sucks.

I put in a change request and I do believe I mentioned that I need my DP to STAY in the old bank until the NEW bank started... So Akira (she's my hero) called up Homeoffice and talked to them. They put in an emergency overide so my $$$ will go into the NEW bank *phew* that was scary (I can call and do a telephone transfer if necessary between banks). Savannah said that she would deposit it for me on her lunch break if needed. I <3>"Circus" by the Lovely Britney Spears...

there's only two types of people in the world
the ones that entertain
and the ones that observe

well baby I'm a put-on-a-show kinda girl
dont like the backseat
gotta be first

I'm like the ringleader
I call the shots
I'm like a fire cracker
I make it hot
when I put on a show

I feel the adrenaline moving through my veins
spotlight on me and I'm ready to break
I'm like a performer, the dancefloor is my stage
better be ready, hope that ya feel the same

all eyes on me in the center of the ring
just like a circus
when I crack that whip, everybody gonna trip
just like a circus
don't stand there watching me
follow me, show me what you can do
everybody let go, we can make a dance floor
just like a circus

there's only two types of guys out there
Ones that can hang with me
and ones that are scared
so baby, I hope that you came prepared
I run a tight ship, so beware

I'm like the ringleader
I call the shots
I'm like a fire cracker
I make it hot
when I put on a show

I feel the adrenaline moving through my veins
spotlight on me and I'm ready to break
I'm like a performer, the dancefloor is my stage
better be ready, hope that ya feel the same

all eyes on me in the center of the ring
just like a circus
when I crack that whip, everybody gonna trip
just like a circus
don't stand there watching me
follow me, show me what you can do
everybody let go, we can make a dance floor
just like a circus

let's go
let me see what you can do
I'm running this (like,like a circus)
yeah, like a what (like a circus)

Chorus 2x

admit it, ya'll think this bitch (me) is crazy...

can you sit in silence for hours?

we can --and it's not uncomfortable..but drives me crazy sometimes because I like to talk even if its about random nothingness...

"When You Say Nothing At All"

It's amazing
How you can speak
Right to my heart
Without saying a word,
You can light up the dark
Try as I may
I could never explain
What I hear when
You don't say a thing

[CHORUS:]
The smile on your face
Lets me know
That you need me
There's a truth
In your eyes
Saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says
You'll catch me
Whenever I fall
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all

All day long
I can hear people
Talking out loud
But when you hold me near
You drown out the crowd
(The crowd)
Try as they may
They could never define
What's been said
Between your
Heart and mine

[Repeat chorus twice]

(You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all)

The smile on your face
The truth in your eyes
The touch of your hand
Let's me know
That you need me

[Repeat chorus]

(You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all)

The smile on your face
The truth in your eyes
The touch of your hand
Let's me know
That you need me

(You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all)

So we took an online compatability test together and here are the results:

Your Romantic Compatibility:
Practical Jane/Joe (ME) -Traditional (HIM): The Practical Jane/Joe and Traditional are not far apart in what they want, they just have slightly different ways of showing it. It is fairly easy for each to adapt to the other’s ways, although there will always be the odd present that’s slightly off-the-mark.

Your Sexual Compatibility:
Spicy (HIM) -Adventurous (ME): Hot stuff! You two really look forward to getting between the sheets. You have a healthy combination of sexual energy and adventure.

Communication Compatibility:
Talker (ME) -Compromiser (HIM) You two have a good chance of success, but the Talker could use some guidance on how to stop talking long enough to listen.

Astrological Compatibility:
When Gemini (ME) and Virgo (HIM) come together, they both need to take time to learn about the other's approach to life and love. Both partners' attitude is worth understanding! Gemini's Symbol is the Twins; Geminis can often be of two minds about things. If Virgo can give one Twin a strong emotional anchor while allowing the other Twin to flit about, this relationship may stand the test of time. Early in the relationship, Virgo may take things a little too earnestly for Gemini, but if Virgo can wait a while, both Twins will learn to adapt to the relationship.

The best aspect of the Gemini-Virgo relationship is the security they can give each other once Virgo allows Gemini to willingly commit to the relationship. Both partners can learn to look at the world through new eyes when they open themselves to each other. As long as they communicate with each other and use their ruler Mercury effectively, theirs will be a gratifying relationship.

Bring On The Rain

Monday wasn't so bad. Yesterday was ok... Today has been shit.

Artist: Jo Dee Messina
Title: Bring On The Rain


Another day has almost come and gone
Can’t imagine what else could wrong
Sometimes I’d like to hide away somewhere and lock the door
A single battle lost but not the war (‘cause)

Tomorrow’s another day
And I’m thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain

It’s almost like the hard times circle ‘round
A couple drops and they all start coming down
Yeah, I might feel defeated,
I might hang my head
I might be barely breathing - but I’m not dead

Tomorrow’s another day
And I’m thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain

I’m not gonna let it get me down
I’m not gonna cry
And I’m not gonna lose any sleep tonight

Tomorrow better be better or I'm going to kick some FUCKING ASS...

oh wait, it has be better. I have a million dollar bill to finish tomorrow and get out the door by friday-monday morning at the latest-or I could be in serious trouble..... Should be NO problem at all.... No problem whatsoever. we're just oh, almost a month behind again because of the stupid systems upgrades that fucked everything up and makes my job harder and difficult.

aka:

instead of selecting all of the guest rooms for a group to print out at once I now get to sit there and do each guest room 1 by 1 and transfer out of the holding bucket... not so horrible if its only 10k in revenue........but this is over 500k in room revenue...... omigod........

examples:
before -- open AR holding, search for group, select all, hit print, hit ok....go to the printer. check to see if they all printed and click "transfer"

before with upgrade implemented -- open AR holding, search for group, select all, hit print, hit ok...pop up window asking "Ok to print Invoice $$$$$", hit ok......and they all come at once.... and crash the computer.

now -- open AR holding, search, sort by invoice #, click 1st person, click print, click ok, click transfer, rinse and repeat...

------------------------

and so i got a phone call from the new landlord today. She's getting fined $20 a day that we havn't registered with the Association. She's been promising us the paperwork is in the mail......she's never mailed it. She said she's paying the fines. Damn straight. And now --criminial background checks-- wtf?? seriously. Are you shitting me?! Ugh. I'm so pissed off right now. And I have to get Drake Registered with the City which means I have to get his shots which means I have to have that shit for the association.... Seriously, this is too much bullshit! I have more important things for my mind to be on besides someone els' fuck ups. She's "SO" worried about our fucking credit history that she "neglects" to tell us this crap?! the fuck?! what?!?!?!

And I think my powersteering is trying to go out on me now. And I have to get the brakes fixed --oh gods thier getting so bad now--

I told you people to stop pissing me off!!!!

Stop taking away from beautiful world!!!! YOUR NOT GOING TO FUCKING RUIN THIS SHIT FOR ME YOU DAMN ASSHOLES!!!! quit FUCKING with me!!!

awe! i feel so loved :-)

*THANKYOU* to everyone who has expressed an interest in my leaving or staying. well, after an *amazing* day today with Joe and my intense urge to share with everyone! I wont be leaving. However, I will monitor what I say inregards to my feelings and happenings at my job. If I *must* vent it will be through the blog "behind the scenes" --only people who have LiveJournal accounts and are listed as my friend can see it. I don't use it much. I've wrote a few posts in there in and its all boring anyways! lol and I doubt I'll use it. I just guess that I need to use more discresion than I have. I'd really hate to vent about someone at work and they accidently find this blog and take it the wrong way... This would be the reason why I made my nonpublic blog in the first place--so I could bitch about my roomate and her not see it.--and other people.--Keep in mind that stuff in here that's labeled "secrets unveiled" are posts that were made unprivate in the other blog and copied it to here. --I really wish that blogger would make a "lockable" posting feature so only those we choose--our "friends" could see certain things.

BUT ON TO THE GOOD STUFF!

Woke up this morning and went to work! Yes, work on a sunday: they call it a "precon" which is basically 1 representative from each "department" gathers together with the head contacts of the group staying at the resort (we're a conference oriented resort but have family shit stuff on the weekends) --ok so anyways I represented AcctgCmd. I was congratulated by all of the others that I did an awesome job! *woot*

And now to the juicy:

Joe said he had a secret surprise for me for lunch and I said "lets go!" and we took the utmost gorgeous scenic route to ....

First off we stopped by Cabella's and totally made me homesick for Arkansas! Seeing all that camping gear and...just everything outdoorsy that you'd need in the mountains and forests. And the boats! I WE want a boat! Oh it'd be so awesome to go boating!

And finally, we come to the surprise! But, although we wanted Sonic- just not as badly as to wait in those ridiculously long lines! I hope that this means they'll get the point of it and put in MORE Sonics! Preferably in the immediate vacinity of where we live and work!

So we instead walked around this brandnew Walmart! Pretty :) and clean! And found this really awesome Dr. Pepper football shaped bottle. It's sitting on top of our TV. I was so desperate for football season to start.....but now.....I'm torn and don't know what to do... I'm thinking of trying out a new team? Maybe this means I was a Favre Fan and not a Packers fan.....But damnit, I don't even have the urge to WATCH him with the JETS! *cries*

ok! fun stuff!

So we headed back home and made a few stops along the way: We ended up at a Halloween store! oooooooooooooooooh, I wish I had a HOUSE so I could make the front yard all creepy scary! There was this AWESOME Jason statue/robot thing. Really LIFE like! And everything else was AMAZING as well. I need children so I can get this out of my system through them! You should have seen the baby costumes...ok...im SO teary-eyed again....

Then we took a trip by PetCo and bought Nilla s'more tubes for her house. It's a REALLY aweome design! Joe is so cool with putting it together. We need to get her another habitat and more tubes to connect between the two. We're REALLY thinking of getting another Hamster. Just have to make sure its a GIRL and not a BOY or else we'll be Hamster grandparents! Which, I'd be VERY ok with that, AND! the PetCo said they'd take the babies after thier weined and sell em. ....I wonder if we could make money off of Hamster Breeding... Now THAT's and IDEA!

And then we're off again to feed the tummies! ......OHMIGODS! TGIFRIDAYS! Jack Daniels BURGER.......oh and it took ALOT of willpower to NOT divulge in the partaking of JACKDANIELSIPPERS! ........drooling....... jalepeno macaroni & cheese.....you shoulda SEEN how red joe's face got! It was priceless.

And then we're back on the road again after stopping off at gamestop and buying my man a new game. Nothing makes me happier than watching him play his racing video games and knowing that I am a cool enough girlfriend to sit there and enjoy it with him... Yeap, I'd like to think he's got a pretty good catch!

And, there is nothing better than an impromtu game of MINIGOLF!

now we come to: Oberweis Dairy......not as good as ColdStone but it was very fun playing Chess together. I've not played chess since oh.....highschool! And I didn't do any good then either! I remembered that the Horsey can only go in a "L" shape! Everything else went out of my head...pffft! I can say this tho: Joe can be is a patient teacher... And he'll let you think your winning until he wipes you out!

ok! time for sleeeeepies but I have to share one more thing: my *new fave must have song* I hope that if Joe ever hears this song on the radio, it'll remind him of me and he'll fall more deeply in love and....you know, i'm being mushy. But its a great song. and minus the Gemini Capricorn --I'm a Gemini Leo if you go by Sun/Moon or a Gemini Taurus if you go by Sun/Rising -- it's sounds just like me...(clicking on the title of the song should take you to the youtube video)

Pat Monahan "Her Eyes"

She's not afraid; she just likes to use her night light
When she gets paid, true religion gets it all
If they fit right.

She's a little bit manic, completely organic
Doesn't panic for the most part.

She's old enough to know, and young enough not to say no
To any chance that she gets for home plate tickets to see the Mets.
Like everybody, she's in over her head,
Dreads Feds, Grateful Dead, and doesn't take meds.

She's a Gemini Capricorn
Thinks all men are addicted to porn.
I don't agree with her half the time,
But, damn I'm glad she's mine.

Her eyes, that's where hope lies.
That's where blue skies
Meet the sunrise.
Her eyes, that's where I go
When I go home.

She got the kinda strength that every man wishes he had.
She loved Michael Jackson up until he made Bad.

Tells me that she lives about a hundred lives,
Scares me to death when she thinks and drives,
Says cowboy hats make her look fat,
and I'm so glad she's mine.

Her eyes, that's where hope lies.
That's where blue skies
Meet the sunrise.
Her eyes, that's where I go
When I go home.

She doesn't know the word 'impossible'
Don't care where I've been and doesn't care where we're goin' to.
She takes me as I am, and that ain't easy.
She's beautiful. So beautiful.

And sometimes I think she's truly crazy.
And I love it.

Her eyes, that's where hope lies.
That's where blue skies
Always meet the sunrise.
Her eyes, that's where I go
When I go home.

Her eyes, that's where hope lies.
That's where blue skies
Always meet the sunrise.
Her eyes, that's where I go
When I go home.

She's not afraid
she just likes to use her night light.

1 year of ...

Happiness, Close Calls, Emotional Roller coasters and most importantly... Our Love

Where did you meet?
Online playing the Game SneezyMud

Do you remember what he/she was wearing?
Well, I can remember what character he was playing: it was Cornwall

Where was the first time you kissed this person?
Starbucks parking lot

Where did you go for your first date?
Can't really count the day we met up 1/2 way between on my way back from Raquel & Hunter's wedding so it'd have to be a few weeks after that when we went to Tree Guys Pizzeria in Itasca.

How long did you know this person before you became a couple?
I'd say a few months.

How did he/she ask you out?
it just kinda happened, I don't remember if it was asked of one of us to the other

Has this person ever proposed to you?
not yet...we've looked at rings tho

Do you and this person have kids together?
no, but we're currently working on Baby #1 (maybe #2 if we're lucky)

Have you ever broken the law with this person?
does speeding count?


When was the first time you realized that you liked this person?
when i he pulled up beside me in the Starbucks parking lot and still kissed me and hugged me even tho I was hot, sweaty, icky & probably stinky as well from driving 16 hours with NO air conditioner and 1 bitchy cat.

Do you get along with his family?
I have yet to meet his family

Do you trust this person?
Yes

Do you see them as your partner in your future?
Yes

What is the most expensive thing they gave you?
does his Heart Count? everything else we have we got together...

What is one thing he/she does that gets on your nerves?
his snoring

What is the thing you do that gets on his/her nerves?
Probably everything

Where do you see each other in 15 years from now?
living in Arkansas on the land in Cabot raising our future children.

What causes the most arguments?
my hormones & the pills I'm on

As some of you have probably guessed (the smarter ones of you that is) our 1 year anniversary is coming up in a few days. 5 to be exact...

Once upon a time in a spring day in 2007 I'm playing sneezymud and out of nowhere I get a message from this guy saying "so you live in Illinois, too?". From that day forward my life has make a total and complete turn around. It started out anticipating when I could get off work, log into the game and talk to him online. Slowly we progressed to IMs on Yahoo and before you know it we're talking on the phone and making plans to meet. Particularly on my way *TO* Arkansas for my sister's wedding... I get lost and the day that changed my life forever is postponed until my trip *back* to Illinois from the wedding.

I was so nervous. I was totally disgusting as well. 16 hours with no a/c driving with the windows *UP* because my Drake does not like the windows down in the blazer *Le sigh*. I showed up a few moments before Joe did. I was debating on getting a nice cold sweet treat from Starbucks when he pulled up and stepped out his truck. My heart stopped. My breath caught in my lungs. He was *SO MUCH CUTER* than his pictures. (That's always a fear that they look nothing --bad nothing-- like their photos when you meet someone from online) and my Joe is/was completely handsome! He literally took my breath away. I was so nervous I thought I was going to pass out.

And he hugged me. And kissed my forehead. We sat down and started chatting. I was so tired. I leaned against him and put my head on his shoulder and breathed in deeply his scent. Already I was falling. He was too good to be true.

Sadly our time had to end. I had to get back to the House and unpack my cat (along with a truck load of shit outta storage) and he had to get to work. And he kissed me. It was so soft and passionate... I'll never forget the first time we kissed. It was the amazing perfect kiss anyone could ever wish to have. And to top it all off, the cherry on the ice cream sundae -- he gave me a cute wittle stuffed puppy with his cologne sprayed on it.

When I finally made my way back to the house (another 2 hours later) I took Drake inside and we crashed on my bed...all the while me praying this is not a dream I'm having at the rest area I'd had pulled over in at 3am because I couldn't drive anymore. That Joe was real and he had kissed me and promised he'd see me soon...

A few weeks later I get a phone call that he's in the area. It was a total surprise, I never expected him to show up so soon! We went out to eat and he ended up staying the night (no, i wont share the details) and sadly he had to leave again. Around this time (beginning of July) is when things start getting messy. He's freaking out about me, I'm spazzing about him. I end up "breaking up with him" and we "get back together" and then he "disappears for a few days" and then he shows back up again... We agree to be friends (ahem, yea right) and we talk about him moving into the House I'm living in with Crystal & her husband.

Of course she says yes (more money in her pocket) and at first we're sneaking around behind their backs and We're staying that we're "just friends"... Finally we just admit it (like 2/3 months later--around thanksgiving) that we are together and people can just deal if they don't like it. And that we've pretty much been together since (tada! July 15) of 2007. Talk about your denials! I think it was mostly me tho... The whole "not wanting to get hurt...If I don't admit that I'm *into him* then I can't be hurt".

So here we are! January I was laid off from my major source of income and he stood by me and helped support me while I was looking for work. Late January we moved into the Condo where we are living today. We've had some misunderstandings and we've had our goods times and nothing that's been really bad... We've had an argument or 2 but nothing to really get tipsy over. We were laughing and back to ourselves prefight within 15 minutes after they started anyways.

I find it amazing that we can spend every moment together (minus the 9 we spend apart due to work a day) and still be able to stand each other. We commute together. We eat all meals minus lunch together. Sometimes we even shower together. Including the fact that we're currently having MORE sex than usual because of the whole "lets make a baby" routine... Oh! And we still play sneezymud together. I read another gal's blog tonight who's LiveInBF needs space because of the above and I immediately asked Joe if he feels like we're being smothered by each other and he said "No, we're good." That's a relief! I was seriously worried about that.

So for our anniversary we're going out for dinner on Tuesday night. I can't remember the name of the place. But I'm sure it'll be perfect. Since we share finances I think we're going to each take xxx amount of dollars and do something or get something for the other... That's still up in the air. With mixed finances you can't really be "spontaneous" and surprise the one you love (unless you have separate credit cards..which we might have to do for these instances).

Well, I hope you didn't get too bored or disgusted by our Love Story. Our First Year together.

A MOMENT LIKE THIS (Kelly Clarkson)

If I told you it was all meant to be,
Would you believe me
Would you agree
It's almost that feeling that we met before
So tell me that you don't think I'm crazy
When I tell you love has come here and now

A moment like this
Some people wait a lifetime
For a moment like this
Some people search forever
For that one special kiss
Oh I can't believe it's happening to me
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.

Everything changes but beauty remains
Something so tender
I can't explain
Well I may be dreaming but till I awake
Can we make this dream last forever
And I'll cherish all the love we share

A moment like this
Some people wait a lifetime
For a moment like this
Some people search forever
For that one special kiss
Oh I can't believe it's happening to me
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this

Could this be the greatest love of all
I wanna know that you will catch me when I fall
So let me tell you this
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this

Some people wait a lifetime
For the moment like this
Some people search forever
For that one special kiss
Oh I can't believe it's happening to me
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this

Oh Oh like this

Oh Oh Oh Oh
Some people search forever, oh yeah yeah
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this

Oh like this

i'm hard to love?

so joe tells me on the way home from dairy queen (a little celebration see the entry before this one...) that i can be hard to love...

i was kinda hopin that he felt this way about me:

"She's Everything" - Brad Paisley

She's a yellow pair of running shoes
A holey pair of jeans
She looks great in cheap sunglasses
She looks great in anything
She's I want a piece of chocolate
Take me to a movie
She's I can't find a thing to wear
Now and then she's moody

She's a Saturn with a sunroof
With her brown hair a-blowing
She's a soft place to land
And a good feeling knowing
She's a warm conversation
That I wouldn't miss for nothing
She's a fighter when she's mad
And she's a lover when she's loving

[Chorus]
And she's everything I ever wanted
And everything I need
I talk about her, I go on and on and on
'Cause she's everything to me

She's a Saturday out on the town
And a church girl on Sunday
She's a cross around her neck
And a cuss word 'cause its Monday
She's a bubble bath and candles
Baby come and kiss me
She's a one glass of wine
And she's feeling kinda tipsy

She's the giver I wish I could be
And the stealer of the covers
She's a picture in my wallet
Of my unborn children's mother
She's the hand that I'm holding
When I'm on my knees and praying
She's the answer to my prayer
And she's the song that I'm playing

[Repeat chorus]

She's the voice I love to hear
Someday when I'm ninety
She's that wooden rocking chair
I want rocking right beside me
Everyday that passes
I only love her more
Yeah, she's the one
That I'd lay down my own life for

And she's everything I ever wanted
And everything I need
She's everything to me
Yeah she's everything to me

Everything I ever wanted
And everything I need
She's everything to me

instead of sayin i'm hard to love sometimes... sigh. just a few weeks til our 1 year anniversary... how to do i become more lovable? *I'm* sure its just the hormones, etc and you know I've been really stressed lately. I didn' realize that i'm that hard to love...

atleast he's still with me... and he does still love me... but it still hurt :-(

9 months

Don't look at my fatass, look at my handsome man!--and that's a horrible picture of me, btw.

today is mine and Joe's 9 month anniversary. it's been a definate fun ride these past 9 months. we've known eachother about a year now. joe and i started talking around the time i told Paisley to hit the curb. I can't believe how fast this year has flown by! if you would have asked me a year ago if I'd be in my own place with someone i love comming home to me everynight i would have said no way, man. but here we are! this is absolutely wonderful. i'm so happy. we're getting closer and closer to that year mark making him my longest relationship since the big D.

and i know i've tried to sabotage things (dn't ask me why i'm just stupid) and i know that i've been pigheaded and stupid and just all around a very not nice person sometimes (why did i try to push him away?) and he's been steady, my rock. there to listen to me spout nonsense and stupid shit and be completey in the wrong about things and still there a moment later when i stop to make it all better again. my goal: *NOT* to be stupid for the rest of our relationship. forever if it comes to that.

we were comming back from grocery shopping on saturday and this song came on the radio:

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do

--Rascall Flats "What Hurts The Most"

and that's exactly what happened. here i am scared shitless that this guy might actually be something good for me and i could love him with all of my being and i get freaked out and break it off with him and all i wanted to do was love him but i got scared. oh i was so scared. and when he walked out the door i wanted to run to him and tell him everything, i'm sorry i love you come back to me please but i didn't. instead i stayed miserable for a while and we ended up hookin back up. *yay* thankfully. and he's all mine!

and i know that things happen for a reason. i wonder if we could really appreciate eachother, IF I COULD REALLY APPRECIATE HIM, if I hadn't said "we shouldn't do this" or whatever and broke it off for a little bit. but if you look back at my actions the past few months (we aren't going there) you'd think I didn't learn my lesson. but i have. i have SO learned that he loves me and he's mine.

if you asked me right now if i could see the rest of my life without him, i'd say no. if you asked me right now if i'd die of a broken heart if we fell apart, i'd have to say that i'd come pretty damn close to it.


ok this is a better pic of me

quit making/letting me feel this way

Staind
» Outside

And you
Bring me to my knees
Again
All the times
That I could beg you please
In vain
All the times
That I felt insecure
For you
And I leave
My burdens at the door

But I'm on the outside
I'm looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
'Cause inside your ugly
You're ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

All the times
That I felt like this won't end
It's for you
And I taste
What I could never have
It was from you
All the times
That I've cried
My intentions
Full of pride
But I waste
More time than anyone
[ http://www.rare-lyrics.com ]

But I'm on the outside
And I'm looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
'Cause inside you're ugly
You're ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

All the times
That I've cried
All this wasted
It's all inside
And I feel
All this pain
Stuffed it down
It's back again
And I lie
Here in bed
All alone
I can't mend
But I feel
Tomorrow will be OK

But I'm on the outside
And I'm looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
'Cause inside you're ugly
You're ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

You Had Me From Hello

(I love you, Joe)

One word, that's all was said,
Something in your voice caused me to turned my head.
Your smile captured me, you were in my future,far as I could see.
And I dont know how it happened, but it happens still.
You ask me if I love you, if I always will.........

Well, you had me from "Hello"
I felt love start to grow the moment I looked into your eyes,
You won me, it was over from the start.
You completely stole my heart, and now you won't let go.
I never even had a chance you know?
You had me from "Hello"

Inside I built a wall so high around my heart, I thought I'd never fall.
One touch, you brought it down
Bricks of my defenses scattered on the ground
And I swore to me that I wasn't going to love again
The last time was the last time I'd let someone in

But, you had me from "Hello"
I felt love start to grow the moment I looked into your eyes,
You won me, it was over from the start.
You completely stole my heart, and now you wont let go.
I never even had a chance you know?
You had me from "Hello"

Thats all you said
Something in your voice calls me, turns my head
You had me from "Hello"
You had me from "Hello"
Girl, I've loved you from "Hello"

--Kenny Chesney

Addicted

I'm so addicted to
all the things you do
when you're going down on me
in between the sheets
all the sounds you make
with every breath you take
its not like anything
when you're loving me

oh girl lets take it slow
so as for you well you know where to go
i want to take my love and hate you till the end

its not like you to turn away
from all the bullshit i cant take
its not like me to walk away

i'm so addicted too all the things
you do when you're going down on me
in between the sheets
all the sounds you make
with every breathe you take
its not like anything
when you're loving me

yeahh

i know it was getting rough
all the times we spend
when we try to make
this love something better than
just making love again

its not like you to turn away
all the bullshit i cant take
just when i think i can walk away,

i'm so addicted to all the things
you do when you're going down on me
in between the sheets
all the sounds you make
with every breathe
its not like anything

i'm so addicted to the things you do
when you're going down on me
all the sounds you make with every breath you take
its not like anything when you're loving me
yeahh
when you're loving me

i can not make it through
all the things you do
theres just got to be more than you and me

i'm so addicted too all the things you do
when you're going down on me
in between the sheets
all the sounds you make with every breath you take
its not like anything
its not like anything

i'm so addicted too
all the things you do
when you're going down

all the sounds you make with every breath
you take its not like anything
i'm so addicted to you
addicted to you

i don't want to move ever again...

i should hopefully sleep well tonight. I've been packing for a while now... really really tired from it all. i have 1 more box that's empty and then i can stop for today. i need more boxes...

crystal called me today a little while ago. i guess maybe she feels bad about how she acted yesterday and what she said and how she handled things (i'm sure my screaming back at her "i'm not a godamn thief. i'm not going to take anything that's not mine that i bought or brought up here." didn't help any) anyways she apperantly has some dishes and stuff that she was given when she & tazzie got married. they talked and agreed this was the perfect time to get rid of the old and bring out the new. so she asked if we'd like to have her old dishes and she said she'd go through the cabinets and anything that she has that's duplicates we were welcome to. its either give it to us or take it to marklund. i told her that was nice of her and we really appreciate it.

i talked to my dad today. let him know about my new job and stuff.

this room is starting to look so barren already. basically i have my paperbacks, photo albums, some notebooks, misc stuff in drawers, some wall hangings/decorations and our clothes to pack up. i hope to get all of it minus our clothes packed up today. then all we have to do is move it out on saturday. with both vehicles it shouldn't take no more than 2 trips. yesh, i also have the game system to pack up and its peripherals (the drums & guitar for RockBand are going to be a pain)... this shouldn't be too bad tho.

ok, i'm offa here to packup this last box and take out the trash.

"Paradise" by Tesla

Hold me close now, hold me tight, don't let go of me tonight
You're all I want, you're all I need
Hold me close now, hold me tight, and don't let go of me tonight
Sweet paradise, yeah

How I love all of those crazy little things you've said and done for me
You're the one for me
Darlin', dry your eyes, I can't stand to see you cry
Now just turn and walk away, don't look back when I say goodbye paradise

Days go by and life goes on, I feel I've been away too long
What I would give to be with you, days go by and life drags on
Feel I've been away too long, for much too long, yeah

And all the while that I'm away, don't let our love fade away
Don't you fade away
Now as sure as the sun is gonna shine, the day will come
Now I'm waitin' for the day, there'll be no more sayin' goodbye paradise

My sweet paradise, you are the reason why it tears me up inside
And I break down and cry, didn't wanna say goodbye paradise

I'm comin' home to you tonight, comin' home to you tonight
So hold on tight, tonight I'm on my way back home to paradise

I'm so lost without you, I can't live without you
I've been away too long, now, tonight I'm on my way back home to you
My my paradise, my my paradise
To hold you in my arms, you're all that I adore
To see your smilin' face as I walk through the door
I'll never say goodbye again, no

[Solo]

i'm a negative person???

i never really thought of myself as a negative person. that i had some negative/bad things in my life...but never that i was a negative person and i've looked back the past few years on this damn blog and you know what? it is negative.

instead of talking about the boys and what they were doing i was dwelling on the fact that we had no money when i should have been rejoicing the fact i was given the chance to have 2 wonderful children in my life instead i was complaining that i couldn't have my own children biologically.

i don't want to be told i'm negative again. i will do my very best to try to be more positive on this thing and in my life.

and you know something else i havn't done? i have yet to acknowledge the new year. HAPPY FUCKING NEWYEAR! its going to be the best year i've had in a long time.

for what its worth, i'm happy. i am happy that i'm with Taranis. we mesh well and compliment eachother. he understands me and doesn't get upset when i think differently about stuff. we're in love.

I woke up this morning to the alarm going off. he hit snooze then snuggled against me in bed and put his head on my back and just held me tight.

"See You Again"

I got my sights set on you and I'm ready to aim
I have a heart that will never be tamed
I knew you were something special
When you spoke my name
Now I can't wait to see you again

I've got a way of knowing when something is right
I feel like I must have known you in another life
Cause I felt this deep connection when you looked in my eyes
Now I can't wait to see you again

[Chorus:]
The last time I freaked out
I just kept looking down
I st-st-stuttered when you asked me what I'm thinking about
Felt like I couldn't breath
You asked what's wrong with me
My best friend Lesley said "Oh she's just being Miley"
The next time we hang out
I will redeem myself
My heart it can't rest till then
I can't wait to see you again

[Chorus]

I got this crazy feeling, deep inside
When you called and asked to see me tomorrow night
I'm not a mind reader but I'm reading the signs
That you can't wait to see me again

[Chorus]

--Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus

Stop & Stare

good news:

* i was approved for my "you were laid off from your job so you had to beg for money" insurance and it begins on the 23rd or so... i'm getting the amount i made at the firm minus the amount i make from the spa then minus taxes. not such a bad deal.

* i have an interview today at a place that helps developmentally challenged people overcome thier handicaps, etc. i wont be working one on one with them. i believe this is a receptionist-type of position. i've applied in so many damn places... sigh.

bad news:

* the lady with the Mt. Prospect place hasn't called us. I figure that's her misfortune. i called her. she gave me bad directions. we finally got there. we toured. it was "ok" wasn't really "marvelous darling" or breath taking... so we decided we're desperate. we take the info sheet, fill it out, fax it in. damn lady hasn't called. i told her on the phone when we faxed it in we want the place and i specifically remember her saying ok i'll call you back for arraingements.

* i got sick thursday and i didn't work a full day. and i think i was suppose to return today but i contacted xpress and told them i have interviews today so i wouldn't beable to make it to that place today... i didn't really want to go back anyways but still i felt like i had an obligation. sigh.

general news:

* we're scheduled to look at the condo in addison tomorrow. i'll have to cancel my at&t services, remove my yahoo account from that so its not deleted as well (i've had it for years i dont want to get another yahoo name). we'll have to get comcast services for internet. i'll let you know before we're disconnected and about how long i think it will be...

* went and got the O2 sensor replaced on the blazer. that's what was wrong with it. (grumbles something incoherant)

ok well i guess that's it for me... i need to go eat breakfast and hop in the shower/get ready for these interviews.

This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move, I'm shakin off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel...
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can u see what I see

They're tryin to come back, all my senses push
Un-tie the weight bags, I never thought I could...
Steady feet, don't fail me now
Gonna run till you can't walk
But something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, you don't need

What u need, what u need...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do u see what I see...

-- OneRepublic

Must watch this video!

onerepublic ''apologize''

Add to My Profile | More Videos

I’m holding on your rope
Got me ten feet off the ground
And I’m hearing what you say
But I just can’t make you sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down
But wait...
You tell me that you’re sorry
Didn’t think I’d turn around and say..

That it’s too late to apologize, it’s too late
I said it’s too late to apologize, it’s too late

I’d take another chance, take a fall, take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
(But that's nothing new)
Yeah yeah

I loved you with a fire red, now it’s turning blue
And you say
Sorry like the angel heaven let me think was you
But I’m afraid

It’s too late to apologize, it’s too late
I said it’s too late to apologize, it’s too late
Woahooo woah

It’s too late to apologize, it’s too late
I said it’s too late to apologize, it’s too late
I said it’s too late to apologize, yeah yeah
I said it’s too late to apologize, a yeah

I’m holding on your rope
Got me ten feet off the ground...

Apologize by One Republic

Life is Beautiful

You can’t quit until you try
You can’t live until you die
You can’t learn to tell the truth
Until you learn to lie

You can’t breathe until you choke
You gotta laugh when you’re the joke
There’s nothing like a funeral to make you feel alive

Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes
And see that life is beautiful.
Will you swear on your life,
That no one will cry at my funeral?

I know some things that you don’t
I’ve done things that you won’t
There’s nothing like a trail of blood
to find your way back home

I was waiting for my hearse
What came next was so much worse
It took a funeral to make me feel alive

Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes
And see that life is beautiful.
Will you swear on your life,
That no one will cry at my funeral?

Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes
And see that life is beautiful.
Will you swear on your life,
That no one will cry at my funeral?

Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes
And see that life is beautiful.
Will you swear on your life,
That no one will cry at my funeral?

Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes
And see that life is beautiful.
Will you swear on your life,
That no one will cry at my funeral?

--SIXX:A.M.

now i remember why i have a private blog

There is so much that I want to say and talk about right now but I'm not so sure it'd be such a wise idea to post it out in public... and I hate that. I wish I could talk about what happened today, but I wont betray thier trust and confidence in me. Maybe if I come up with a clever enough name for her I can kinda talk about it in here... we'll see how the next few conversations go, until then! Head to my private journal and if your a trusted friend read until your head explodes and your eyes pop out onto your cheeks while your grinning that ewe evil icky grin.

Thankfully no one that would know her is able to read my private journal.

So I've gotten a first hand look at how people can change. And I ask. Is it them changing or you changing? I was asked a question and I'm looking at myself and I wonder. I wonder so much. ......(time for you to go to private journal for more)

Ok, now that is over....

I've been a little moody lately. Not sure what my deal was. Taranis handled it all very well. We seem to fit so well. I think its the pills. I seriously do. But it was just like 2 days where I wasn't myself. I think maybe 3. We're not having to hide our relationship anymore. I told crystal about us and he's been sleeping in my room ever since instead of his. I think she knew anyways she was just waiting for me to finally come out and say "i admit i'm with Taranis" after all my denying and trying to hide it all.

I have to say this:

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
Well I'm putting my heart back together,
'Cause I got over you.
Well I got over you.
I got over you.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

--Daughtry "Over You"

Look, I'm always going to love you no matter what. You were a huge large piece of me. But I'm over you and I hope your happy and I wish you and your family the absolute best and nothing less. Maybe one of these days we can set aside everything that happened in the past and be friends again. I'll always love you and hold you close to me whether you want me to or not. We were never ment to be together as long as we were. Why did we even keep getting back together? Doesn't make sense does it? No, it doesn't. But that's ok. We lived as best as we could I guess and I have no more hard feelings. I'm sorry things didn't end better.

and now that i got that off my chest......

I love you Taranis! I can't wait til your home so I can tell you to your face just how much I love you and how lucky I am to have you as my man.

Hey!!!!
Do your thing honey!

(Verse: 1)
I could feel it from the start,
Couldn't stand to be apart.
Something ‘bout you caught my eye,
Something moved me deep inside
Don't know what you did boy but you had it and i've been hooked ever since.

(Hook)
I told my mother, my brother, my sister and my friends
Told the others, my lovers, both past and present tense.
That everytime I see you everything starts making sense.

Do your thing honey!

(Chorus)
Ain't no other man, can stand up next to you
Ain't no other man on the planet does what you do
(what you do!)
You're the kinda guy, a girl finds in a blue moon. (hey)
You got soul (yeah), you got class (ohh). You got style, you bad ass Oh Yeah!
Ain't no other man it's true (all right)
Ain't no other man but you.

(Verse: 2)
Never thought I'd be alright. No, no, no!
‘Til you came and changed my life. Yeah, yeah, yeah!
What was cloudy now is clear! Yeah, yeah!

You’re the light that I needed.
You got what I want boy, and I want it!
So keep on givin' it up!

(Hook)
Tell your mother, your brother, your sister, and your friends.
Tell the others, your lovers, better not be present tense.
Cause I want everyone to know that you are mine and no one else's!

Ooooh,oh oh!

(Chorus)
Ain't no other man, can stand up next to you (to you yeah)
Ain't no other man (ain't no other man) on the planet does what you do
You're the kinda guy, a girl finds(a girl finds) in a blue moon.
You got soul (soul), you got class (class).
You got style,you bad ass- yeah yeah yeah!
Ain't no other man it's true
Ain't no other man but you.

(Bridge)
Break it down now!

Ain't no other, ain't, ain't no other, (other)!!
Ain't no other, ain't, ain't no other (LOVER)!
Ain't no other, I, I, I need no other!
Ain't no other man but you!
Ohhhh!
You are there when I’m a mess
Talked me down from every ledge
Give me strength boy you’re the best
You’re the only one who’s ever passed every test

(Chorus)
Ain't no other man (woo), can stand up next to you (next to you)
Ain't no other man on the planet does what you do. oh..
You're the kinda guy, a girl finds in a blue moon.
You got soul (yeah), you got class (yeah)
You got style, you badass- oh yeah!
Ain't no other man it's true
Ain't no other man but you.

(Chorus)
And now I'm telling you so ain’t no other man but you
Hey!!!!!!!!
Ain't no other man, can stand up next to you,,
Ain't no other man on the planet does what you do
(what you do).
You're the kinda guy, a girl finds in a blue moon.
Baby, baby, baby Oooh!!!!!
You got soul (yeah), you got class (ohh).
You got style, you badass
Don't you know!
Ain't no other man it's true
Ain't no other man but you.

-Christina Aquilera "Ain't No Other Man"

When You're Gone (Because I wanted to post it)

Avril Lavigne

 

[Intro - Insturmetal (16 seconds)]

[Verse 1]
I always needed time on my own,
I never thought I'd, need you there when I cried.
And the days feel like years when I'm alone,
And the bed where you lie,
Is made up on your side.

[Bridge]
When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

[Chorus]
When you're gone,
The pieces of my heart are missing you!
When you're gone,
The face I came to know is missing too!
When you're gone,
All the words I need to hear to always get me through the day...
And make it OK...
I miss you.

[Verse 2]
I've never felt this way before,
Everything that I do,
Reminds me of you.
And the clothes you left,
They lie on the floor,
And they smell just like you,
I love the things that you do!

[Bridge]
When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

[Chorus]
When you're gone,
The pieces of my heart are missing you!
When you're gone,
The face I came to know is missing too!
And when you're gone,
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day...
And make it OK...
I miss you.

[Middle-eight]
We were made for each other,
Out here forever,
I know we were,
Yeah Yeah!
All I ever wanted was for you to know,
Everything I do I give my heart and soul,
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me...
Yeah!

[Chorus]
When you're gone,
The pieces of my heart are missing you!
When you're gone,
The face I came to know is missing too!
When you're gone,
The words I need to hear will always get me through the day...
And make it OK...
I miss you!

[Insturmental - 15 seconds]

stupid girls

PINK

Stupid Girls

Stupid girl, stupid girls, stupid girls
Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
Porno Paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl

Go to Fred Segal, you'll find them there
Laughing loud so all the little people stare
Looking for a daddy to pay for the champagne
(Drop a name)
What happened to the dreams of a girl president
She's dancing in the video next to 50 Cent
They travel in packs of two or three
With their itsy bitsy doggies and their teeny-weeny tees
Where, oh where, have the smart people gone?
Oh where, oh where could they be?

Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
Porno Paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl
Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back
Push up my bra like that, I don't wanna be a stupid girl

(Break it down now)
Disease's growing, it's epidemic
I'm scared that there ain't a cure
The world believes it and I'm going crazy
I cannot take any more
I'm so glad that I'll never fit in
That will never be me
Outcasts and girls with ambition
That's what I wanna see
Disasters all around
World despaired
Their only concern
Will they **** up my hair

Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
Porno Paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl
Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back
Push up my bra like that, I don't wanna be a stupid girl

[Interlude]
Oh my god you guys, I totally had more than 300 calories
That was so not sexy, no
Good one, can I borrow that?
[Vomits]
I WILL BE SKINNY

(Do ya thing, do ya thing, do ya thing)
(I like this, like this, like this)
Pretty will you **** me girl, silly as a lucky girl
Pull my head and suck it girl, stupid girl!
Pretty would you **** me girl, silly as a lucky girl
Pull my head and suck it girl, stupid girl!

Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back
Push up my bra like that, stupid girl!

Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
Porno Paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl
Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back
Push up my bra like that, I don't wanna be a stupid girl