random theories...

there are 2 people at work that are pregnant (that i know of) both found out about the same time and both eloped when they were past thier 1st trimester. i also found out today that Alabama is pregnant. I found that she was laid off from her job due to lack of work but they called her back and so her first day back was today. or something like that.

so my theory is this: maybe there are only x amount of pregnancies that are allowed to occur at once. and if someone happens to ovulate at the right time (say right after another baby is born) then they are the lucky ones to get pregnant...

yes i know its a stupid bullshit theory but i have to go on something. i want to be a mommie damnit. i get emails like this from my friends who have babies:

SON just had his second birthday not to long ago.. Im trying to get WIFE to get me copies of his pictures so I can send them out. As I always say hes just growing and growing and getting more mature every day. Hes so funny and polite! He says thank you and welcome and please to just about everything. We had snow the other day and I had to take him to an appointment and I put him in the car and then proceeded to clean all the windows around the car of snow and when I got back in the car he said "Good job daddy." He just always says the cutest things.. He found the first food that he said he doesn't like and surprise its broccoli. He will eat small bites of it but he found a big bite and he took it out of his bowl and said "I no like broccoli."

and like this:

wanted to let ya know some news for us. Sorry so belated but we have been very quiet about it cause of the problems in the past - I'm pregnant! I'm 18 weeks along and find out what I'm having in a few weeks. I was going to wait until then to tell more people - but I feel so bad waiting so long! I am due 10 days after my b-day. We are both real excited. I just had to tell you about the new addition that we will have to our family!

i AM happy for my friends! i am.....but damnit, i want a baby too. and seeing the girl in the spa and the salesgirl with thier growing basketball bellies....sigh.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so we're watching Haulin House and these people are cutting a house into six peices! and i asked Joe: "Why are they doing this? A house is a permanant fixture it is not ment to be cut apart and put back together. If it was they'd make em out of Legos!!!"

so ofcourse that started me thinking about the land in Cabot, AR just waiting for us to move onto it. and i was thinking if we could actually pour concrete or another strong material into puzzle type molds that we could peice together.....

yes, i'm insane.

tomorrow is my friday. and i deserve it. the "boss" was out for 2 days sick. my Partner in Crime was out sick today and I had 2 meetings with 2 huge highprofile groups today. AND i got shit done. i kicked ass big time.

and i'm sleepy.

i'm kinda concerned about LoJack. He's not as active as Nilla. Maybe he's just a lazy male? Or he's pissy about being in his ball today. I know the person we got him from use to keep him in his ball to keep him away from the animal he shared a cage with to keep them from hurting eachother.

i can't wait til Friday tho! I got $50 to try and buy me some new shirts for work!!! i'm all set on pants.

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and on a final note: i found out from MomI today that her mom (my "grandma") fell down and almost broke her hip but instead cracked her ribs and then DROVE herself to the hospital who then called my Dad to come and get her!!!! and she's getting forgetful. we're really worried about her.

And she also told me that one of my Aunts (one of her sisters that's still living) went to the doc because of pain and a lump in her breast-the did a mamogram and ultrasounds (no biopsy or anything) and told her to go home, she was fine. -- HELLO! 2 of thier sisters DIED from breast cancer! sigh. ( too stressed out --- Death in the Family ) I remember seeing aunt dorothy lying in the bed her body skin and bones with lumps of tumours poking out of her skin. she started out as ovarian, progressed into uterine and then into her breasts and from there went into her lymphnodes. she was given like 2 months to live and sent home on hospice. she lived about 4 months? and died on her birthday.

and on Daddy's side cancer is all in my family. i had another aunt die from Lukemia and i don't think i've talked about it but another one had a breast removed earlier this year because of breast cancer.

it scares me. so much cancer in my family. and me having fought it for 10 years now. i can't believe i've been fighting this for TEN YEARS!!!!

ten fucking years of my life i've spent on meds - doctors and surgeries.

the aunt that recently found the lump said she'd rather not know anyways and turn out like her sisters --chemo and the quality of her life go away.

i'd say i've been lucky. and i need to count my blessings. i might not having any children but i do have my life --and i kinda have my health. and eventually we can adopt a sweet baby or two that need loving and caring parents.