Monday, October 05, 2009

does it make me a bad/horrible person...

that I totally laid into one of my "friends" today on facebook? we'll call her Drama because that's all I've known her for... is Drama.

she and I were only friends or met because of Baer. Baer & Hepheastus became friends through having mutual friends from H's work. Baer ended up living with us in Virginia because we got along great with him... at first... and we needed the extra income because H wanted me at home. it was a good arraingement at first. I cooked and cleaned the house and did thier laundry and made sure they had dinner when they got home. I watched Baer's son (from another woman) when it was his turn to have him. It was a great situation!! Until Baer didn't think he had to pay us his part of the bills or for food.

When I first met Drama it was after Baer brought her over to visit after a couple of dates. They met on yahoo personals (same place he met all the girls he saw back then). Well, he and Drama had only dated for a little bit and he said she was getting really clingy and she was telling ME how in love with him she was!! And how he was making her forget aall about her ex who is her daughter's daddy... who... this is priceless: who she's been having an affair with and he's married and she got preggers by him!! he never left his wife yet still had an affair with Drama all the time.

Baer made it clear to me and H that he didn't want another relationship (just being out of one with his baby mamma) and was out with her cuz she put out and drank alot and paid alot of the bar tabs... yea he was using her!

So flashforward to me and her having a falling out because I took Baer's side over hers when he broke it all off with her. She didn't talk to me anymore. I was creating drama in her life because I tore Baer from her!! priceless yes? yes.

Drama use to keep a blog and I read it on the sly because I really did love her daughter and I enjoyed watching her (no charge mind you) while Baer and Drama went out on dates. Not too long after we moved she stopped blogging and I knew nothing else about her life.

Ya see, when we left VA, Baer was with IG an IG and him took over the lease on our townhouse... After left Drama was trying to get Baer from IG!!! and in the process was pretending to be a friend to IG. I heard from IG that Drama was pregnant with another baby! That she atfirst was claiming to be Baer's... but guess who's the father? the same married man she's been having an affair with this whole time...

Well, apperantly she was seeing someone? Or she just started seeing someone when she found out she was pregnant... Anyways, this guy apperantly was really awesome and wanted to adopt her kids and didn't care about the circumstances surrounding the reason they were on earth. he was just happy and proud to be thier father...

flashfoward however many yrs later (they were married at some point in 06 so i'm not exactly sure on timing in all this, I know the last time I saw her in early 2003 when me and H moved back to Arkansas she said we should stay intouch and be friends...) and she's all over facebook "my life is in shambles, my husband left me, he doesn't understand, no body understands...."

well I told her straight up "you know H left me, it wasn't the greatest of circumstances, blah blah you can talk to me, I know you'll be ok...blahblahblah... talk to me, Drama"

and over and over again she'd post all these cryptic status's...she's gonna kill herself, her life can't go on...not even her kids can fill the void in her life...and yet she'd ignore my urge to try and help her and share my braveness and triumphs with her...to try and help her and motivate her for the positive. I tried to tell her that these cryptic messages was doing nothing but push her man away (they're friends on FB) and her having thier wedding photos up and posting links to them all the time was probably irritating him and pushing him away even more. and I was right: he removed her from his friend list!! said he couldn't take her shit on there. making him look like the bad guy!

so i told her yesterday point blank "get your head out of your ass and stop feeling sorry for yourself if not for your sake for the kids' sake! they need thier mother and they do not need a mother who is threatening to kill herself on facebook or anywhere else". I told her in no certain terms that life moves on and she can go on with her life. if he didn't want to be with her all her energy and efforts would be waisted when he's made it perfectly clear her drama is something he can't stand anymore and she can change her spots all she wants but he can't deal with it... i'm also thinking that maybe she slept with her kids' daddy again but since she's had a hysterectomy she wont get pregnant this time...

so she told me in no certain terms that i'm a bitch and an instigator and i want her unhappy and miserable and i'm pushing her over the edge to kill herself... that all i do is harp on her and make her feel negative.........WHAT!?!?!

so I told her "fine, i'll remove you from FB, i wont message you, you don't message me, you go kill yourself and I wont invite you to my wedding"

I might've been harsh and mean. but seriously?! tough love, bitches, tough love. my friends and family didn't let me wallow in my own self pitty when me and H split up. They made me get my ass in gear and do something positive with my life. I tried to help her see the positive: her 2 beautiful kids. Her job in the health industry... I tried to be soft. I tried to be medium. and in the end I was the harsh ole bitch I guess I am when I feel like I'm being used.

I don't think she's gonna kill herself. those (i've been there) who are going to kill themselves do not shout from the rooftops "hey look i have a knife, omigod i'm cutting my wrist" they just take the fucking pills or slit thier wrist maybe write a note first. she's an attention seeker. she thinks threatning her life will make her husband come back to her. if nothing else, it gives the children's daddy the ammo he needs to take them from her permanantly.

so who's gonna stop reading my blog and being my friend now because I was a complete bitch and told someone to go ahead and kill themselves and then wrote about it?