when the bases are loaded what do you do?

the Dr sent my official revocation letter today and i sent it to the managers at my employer and i have heard nothing from them. how typical. no communication. another reason i wish to not work with them anymore.

I ended up shaving my own legs saturday with his electric beard trimmer... i didn't do a very good job. i missed alot of places. but it didn't prevent me from wearing my long (down to my ankles) skirt. he wont shave my legs for me because he's afraid he'll cut me and hurt me...

the BioMom interaction seems to be better since our fight. I just hope she keeps remembering what I said and I don't have to throw her off the grounds at our wedding.

i have decided that if i can find another place to work before my FMLA is up with my current employer I will change jobs. I might as well do something productive the next 6 weeks, right? instead of watching soap operas all day...

I told the fusion surgeon about the extra numbness on Friday and how it had been gone by Friday night and then how I was able to feel my toes a little more on saturday morning. he said it's "jumps" in healing. and to not be overly concerned unless its accompanied by pain or doesn't go away or the original numbess is getting worse. he put me back on the Celebrex and instead of 2 a day like before its 1 in the morning when my pain is the worst which has cut my Norco 5 intake from 3-4 a day to 1 a day that's before we go for our walks. I'm also on a different more stronger muscle relaxer called Skelaxin, i'm taking 800 mg at night before bed because that's when my spasms are 85% of the time. And I know its working so much better than the others!! I paid $60 for over $700 worth of medication. I love the fact i have medical insurance... wow. If I didn't I'd be living in pain forever. I walked a mile today. I've been walking half a mile but we did a mile today!! I AM SO FUCKING HAPPY ABOUT THAT!!

and the family doc just did a bunch of tests and gave me booster immunization shots and drew blood and stuff. it was alot of pokes (that i'm bruised from) and a headache. her office is suppose to call with the results when thier in. i'm kind of nervous about this whole "checkup" thing... and them testing for things i never dreamed of testing myself for...

I think i'm going to be very happy about my decidion to have the fusion. i have been to the school of hardknocks and graduated the top of my class. from having come from a child of divorce that was so nasty the local papers were talking about it to being diagnosed with cancer at 19 and then a debilitating injury: the spine stuff... I say I am a very lucky person.

they were talking about Patrick Swayze tonight on the news and I was hearing bits and peices of it while we ate dinner and it took all I had not to cry. He, like me, had so many close calls that could have ended his life and his career but he kept overcoming them. and then he got something he couldn't get rid of or overcome. and it took his life. its sad really... its so sad...

i "look over my shoulder" medically all the time now and probably will for the rest of my life. but right now, aside from the surgery, i am a healthy and happy "young" lady who has beaten the odds again and again. and i plan to continue knocking the balls out of the park, hitting homeruns when the bases are loaded and there are 2 outs with 2 strikes against me...