Tuesday, September 08, 2009

the tuesday that is monday

dont you love tuesdays that are mondays?

i guess for me they dont really matter right now but on the 14th they just might start to matter ALOT. and i mean, ALOT... because by this time next week its possible that I'll be at work. Possible, not definate. my appointment is the 14th, on monday. less than a week.

i am both excited and mournful over going back to work. i guess i'd be more excited if i knew it wasn't going to be such an insane mess when I get back because you see, Pic isn't working there anymore. Pic went over her 3 mo of FMLA and she was told she'd have to re-apply and I think that Pic really didn't want to come back even tho she was sayin she wanted to come back... she was just making up excuses to not come back and was hoping that some how they'd keep extending her? who knows, i don't... i care not to speculate. i just know that if its JUST ME it's gonna be hard for me to get time off work for vacations, etc... this makes me sad! and there really needs to be 2 of me! there does. when its busy and we have huge conferences i can't do them all by myself. i tried when Pic was on maternity leave and it was hard and stressful and i don't want to have to go through that again!!!

So the whole office is supose to be doing my job. my job divided amongst 5 people and they have a helper from another department suposedly filing... and from what i hear NOTHING is being done... its all SO behind! but i don't know for sures exactly what's going on. i've gotten bits and peices of information from each member of my office but its a puzzle i'm trying to put together and the one that is coming together is a huge jumbled mess that i'm going to have to clean up.

AGAIN

that i'm going to have to clean up AGAIN. because when I first transfered from the one department to this department my subdepartment of the department was a huge mess. with my organizational skillz i got that shit straightened up and with Savannah's help we got some policies and stuff straight and ya know we were running pretty smooth.

the whole idea was that Pic would be on maternity leave and when she got back I'd have my surgery in the winter so she'd be able to keep her part time hours. well you know my body wasn't having none of that and I started to go more and more numb and the nerves were getting pretty bad and I had to have my surgery. well she was supose to be back the monday after the friday that was my last day. and she didn't come back. and it seems that she's NOT coming back. so when I go back its just going to be me. and like always i'll only get criticism and no support from Homer.

this makes me sad to go back to work to these conditions. if the doc indeed releases me to go back i'm going to request he make it the 21st so i can have a few days to start waking up and "getting ready" to get myself back into a routine and see how best to go about this whole thing will be...

i can't even put on my own damn shoes and socks! i wear my flip flops and sandals when possible because of this!!! its not easy putting on my underwear and pants but i know these are not reasons to stay at home from work. I am embarassed by the brace. I admit that totally. I am so embarassed by this thing!!

ok i need to just breathe and i'm going to go veg out on my soaps... damnit i don't wanna go to work but i want to go back!