because i'm a wimp and i'm scared. there's a million things going through my mind right now. not all good; not all bad.
my first surgery ever i was 15 years old and it was a panick. i had diseased tonsils and adnoids and was in the hospital for a month!! i don't remember anything much of being admitted. i remember going to get a shot of penicillin in my butt with my grandpa and then my dad beside me while i was rushed to the hospital. i wasn't breathing well: i had an allergic reaction. that was a horrible thanksgiving watching everyone else get to eat when i couldn't eat anything!!
i remember when i was first diagnosed with cancer, i was 19. it was the most heart breaking thing i had ever had to deal with at that time. and i went through 6 months of treatments and i was scared everytime i went in for them to do the cryo and laser therapies... when i was 20 i was given the all clear. and it was the happiest day of my life.
when i was 23 i was diagnosed again. i had to have surgery this time. it had spread too far. thankfully it was an outpatient procedure. and i was quick to recover. but i lost 95% of my cervix.
just before my 27th birthday i had to have surgery again on my female area for tumors... again outpatient and i am fine now... but it was scary going under the knife and being put under.
this past year i've had to go back n forth to the hospital for injections in my back. i was afraid the 1st time but realized it wasn't bad at all, and my fear was less and less everytime i went back.
but now. i am truly afraid. more than i have ever been afraid in my life.
i am having a spinal fusion in august on the 4th.
if you pray, pray. if you don't, atleast think of me.
i'll be in the hospital about 4 days give or take a few depending on how i recover. everyone is more than welcome to come and spend time with me while i am in recovery at home (looking at 3 months) and in the hospital. the surgery itself varies about 4 hours.
i'm afraid i'm going to hurt. that its going to hurt really bad. but i am hopeful that this will "cure" me and i no longer have spinal and leg issues.
I will be praying for you Jenny. You are strong and therefore I know you will pull through this.
ReplyDeletewow, i'm so sorry! i will send positive healing vibes your way, for sure! are you allergic to pcn? ME TOO! (can you tell, i'm allergic to the world, mostly?)
ReplyDeleteI know several people who have had fusions (including several family members and close friends - what can I say? we're hard on the equipment in my crew).
ReplyDeleteAll of them went well. Almost all experienced very significant relief. Some said they felt the improvement already while still on the same day as the surgery.
Good luck! And try to relax.
You will be in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteSurgery is always scary. I know a few people who've had this surgery and it went well. They no longer have the problems and pain they had before.
I will pray for you and think good thoughts for you AND sending you healing vibes. From what I have heard, like titan said, you should get immediate relief. I know it is scary but you will feel so great afterward!
ReplyDeletewow!! you all are so awesome :)
ReplyDeletethank you a million times over for your love and support!
I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this, what a difficult situation. You are a strong woman though! Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI'll be thinking of you, dear.
ReplyDeleteYour new mantra ..."I will be fine. I will be fine. I will be fine."
:-)