Sunday, March 01, 2009

if i was pregnant, this would be ok

However, i am not pregnant, so it is not ok... What do you ask?? This tire around the center of my body and these saddlebags that have become my flat and not very "bubbly" ass.

I went through my closet today. Tried on every single piece of clothing. Its no longer full. Some of the clothes I tried on I cried. I bawled. I actually spent $50 on a pair of jeans 3 years ago and now I can't fit into them. Havn't been able to in a while actually. 2 of my favorite clubbing outfits, the "come and get em boys" that showed off my girls and my ass. My ass that use to be so fine. So fine my ass was.

And the really hard part, the MIND BOGGLING part of it all is... These clothes would fit me if it wasn't for the Tummy. WHY and shall I ask HOW is it that the Tummy got to be bigger and bigger slowly progressingly getting larger while the rest of my body stayed pretty much the same. My arms, Chest, Legs- they have expanded 2% of what my stomach has. That is alot of difference.

What makes our body do this? How can I reverse it so I can fit into my clothes again?

I am so frustrated right now with the meds and my back and my uterus and eating like a rabbit and never feeling satisfied and full. To eating the fruits and veggies and not having any real carbs or meats.

I should have lost more than 6 lbs total since January. I should have lost more than just 1 lb last month (which that doesn't count really). I was down almost 10 lbs. What the fuck happened? I know we had pizza a week ago but seriously, can 1 night of pizza really fuck me up that much? When I practically starve myself the rest of the time???

Medically, I think there is something else wrong with me or its the meds. I am going to have Doc run a full panel of everything in June. I will get to the bottom of this.