I did something today that will either make or break me. It definatly put me into the spot light.
Sigh, so I had a conversation today. It is a conversation that I've been debating on whether or not I should have it. A conversation that I'm sure if someone found out about it they would not like it. They would not like it at all. However, I've tried to talk to this person and it's not going anywhere and I'm just getting frustrated.
So I took my problems to someone else. This someone else said that they understood, they saw it happening and things were going to change. That makes me relieved and it makes me scared at the same time because if someone breaks my confidentiality (which i pray they don't) then I'm fucked. Someone will make my life hell my entire career where I'm at.
SO the point is, I've done what I've done and I can't take it back. It's not possible. So either A-things will change or B-I'll lose my job or be forced to quit because of animosity.
And even tho I can see who reads this blog, I have a new tracker. It scares me to death that she could possibly be reading this. I know she says that she doesn't have internet or a computer at home. And I know that if she was viewing at work I'd know it because it says it's from our home office in Texas. It just bugs me that maybe she has an IP blocker. Or I'm being paranoid. I guess I'm just being paranoid. How would she know to find me anyways?
So anyways, more about work: HR told me that i'd have my PTO right off the bat. Turns out that I don't. So we have to cancel our vacation that we were going to take in november for thanksgiving. So, I guess we get to start our traditions early.
I can't to buy a christmas tree and christmas decorations. I really absolutely can't wait until Halloween. I have so much going on right now i'm about ready to scream. I wanted so badly to go home for turkey day and to go visit his mom. We'd ask her to come here, but she'll not leave his grandmother which is understandable.
anyways, I'm going to go veg and try not to stress out too much about my conversation today with someone.......altho you know I'm going to stress about it until the changes are implemented and I have no fear of retaliation.--which would probably be never (the fear of retaliation that is).
If the person you talked to was indeed already aware of the problem (at least at some level), then it can be addressed without any breach.
ReplyDeleteI've been in situations like this too, it's really hard to deal with. Just remember, you can only control yourself and you ARE doing the best that you can!
ReplyDeleteThese situations are tough but regardless of the outcome, if you're comfortable and okay with your part in it and telling someone, then that's all you can do. Fingers crossed you get the result you want.
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