atleast i think i did: "don't eat the food at work"
since about lunch i was feeling queezy and by the time i got home from work, i couldn't stop it anymore. i have to vomit. really its just bad. probly a reason why i'd never become bulimic (eat then throw it up on purpose to lose weight/stay skinny) I'm more likely to become an on again off again annorexic. however, i say on again off again because i love food too much and there comes a point where even i can't control my hunger for chocolate sometimes.
so, D and i. I'm not so sure what's up with that. he's "busy with shit". how busy can one person be?! i'm busy myself but i make time for my friends when its needed. and he'll say one thing and not do it. like he's always telling me "i'll stop by and see ya before you get off/i get off work" does it happen? no. if I want to see him bad enough what must happen? i clock out on lunch and hope to catch him in the lobby and see if he can go out on the dock with me and smoke. i really like him. he says he really likes me. but he's really really starting to make me a triffle upset and mad. like when he asked if we could go out to the bar and when i met him there he only stayed about 20 mins and then took off. he had "things he needed to do".
i wasn't going to let him do this to me. i wasn't. i swear it i swear it. but it never fucking fails. i put my foot down "we're just friends--that's fucking IT and NOTHING more" and what happens? he comes lovin on me or sending me a sweet message or something.
fucking men.
wonder how he'd like it if i didn't return HIS text messages or answer MY phone when HE calls?!
You do recall the "asshole" conversation we had don't you?
ReplyDeleteLets put it this way, if he wanted to mess you what would it look like?
Get a sudden case of complete disinterest and you wont be able to get rid of him.
i'm just not worth anyone's time or interest thats all
ReplyDeleteThat is not true. You are in a down time. But you are still you, and still uniquely valuable. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteSince I don't have the chance to observe him, I can't say that he isn't just a self-centered asshole (charming though some of them may be - think the charming but completely self-focused rascal Bill Clinton). But it is also possible that he is pulling the classic 'create attraction' game.
You know how men always complain that women say they want a 'nice guy' but always reject them and go for the charming rascals? There is something in women that is simply attracted to that persona and sees nice guys as wimps (who then get treated like brothers or friends, but with no potential for romantic attraction). Some men understand this, and play a charming rascal game - part of which is always puling away first, and another part of which is always maintaining the upper hand - partly through an appearance of some degree of indifference. Say what you want about it, it works.