Have I found happiness?

The last thing I wanted was to find another man that was going to be on the road all the time. My cowboy is another one of them, he's a trucker. Got a job with a trucking company. He's gotta go through thier "training" and orientation then he's gone. So I have about 3 more weeks I think he said of him being in Arkansas. But he'll be about 2 hours away. Still not sure on when he's going there, he should find out soon.

His BDay is this month. I went ahead and got him a Bday present. Got him an Arkansas Razorbacks hat. He loves football, its his passion. I love football too. Finally someone to watch it with me (besides my dad and most of the time daddy's like "nascar's on" and we're flipping back 'n forth). Suga and I went in on a gift pack of men's cologne just for the hell of it (30 bucks for a $90 set, can't beat that). She kept the Curve Crush, I kept the reg Curve (The cologne my GBF -guy bestfriend- turned me onto). Gave the Bora Bora to my BF (boy friend) -- he loves it and it smells WONDERFUL on him -- Heather took one of em and gave it to Isaac (dont' remember the name of it) and we have 1 left. It smells to feminy to be a man's cologne but we'll figure something out to do with it.

I wont get to see him until Tuesday he's off tonight and tomorrow. Total bummer. Then its 2 more days til I see him again cuz I'm off wed & thursday, but I can make it up to work (crossing my fingers) to see him, he said that he'll try to stop by instead to help me save on gas since I'm right on the way to work.

Gretchen Wilson "Holdin You"
I dont need whiskey to drown out the pain
Or some old umbrella to hold off the rain
Dont have to cross over a river of tears
All that i need is right here

Holding you holds me together
When holding on gets just a little to hard
When this tight rope i travel
Begins to unravel and i feel like
Im falling apart
Holding you holds me together

You know lifes a freight liner on
A runaway track
But ill take the ride knowing
That youll bring me back
No fates too uncertain no distance to far
As long as your here in my arms

Holding you holds me together
When holding on gets just a little to hard
When this tight rope i travel
Begins to unravel and i feel like
Im falling apart
Holding you holds me together

Whener i hold you tight
This crazy world of mine falls right in place
Whatever the trouble is
You find a way to give back what it takes

Holding you holds me together
When holding on gets just a little to hard
When this tight rope i travel
Begins to unravel and i feel like
Im falling apart
Holding you holds me together

Dedicated to my Cowboy

Everything inside me tells me he is different. That I wont have to worry about him cheating on me while he's on the road. That I know he'll be hopelessly devoted to me and faithful in every way. He's afraid of being cheated on because his ex cheated on him. I have the same fears.

I'm gonna do it right this time. Ya, it may seem like things are going fast, but thier actually going slow. We're taking our time, actually getting to know each other. Everyone tells us how in love we are. No, we havnt' said the "L" word. Wont for a while I'm sure. We've talked about moving in together. Its not like he'll be there alot, being a trucker and all.

I miss him so much all ready. What I feel for him and how he makes me feel confirms my realizations that I was never in love with Hephaestus.

NICKLEBACK "Fight For All The Wrong Reasons"

Well I wanted you
I wanted no one else
I thought it through
I got you to myself
You got off
Every time you got on to me
I got caught up
In favorable slavery

Was it wrong? Was it wrong?

[CHORUS]
I guess it wasn't really right
I guess it wasn't meant to be
It didn't matter what they said
'Cause we were good in bed
I guess I stuck around so I could watch us fight
for all the wrong reasons
No, it didn't matter what I tried
It's just a little hard to leave
When you're going down on me
I guess I stuck around so I could watch us fight
for all the wrong reasons

Well you know my friends
Well they know your enemies
I'd pretend
Not to hear what they said to me
'Cause I got off
Every time you got on to me
Was it wrong
To go along with insanity?

Was it wrong? Was it wrong?

[CHORUS] --dedicated to the (soon to be ex) husband

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~
Feeling: In Love


Listening to: Misc songs that remind me of my life right now