sometimes I just feel like giving up

First we'll start off with my bridesmaids. Any time I tried to get them together 1 or all of them couldn't make it. And if I planned for 2 of them then one of them couldn't make it leaving only 1 and usually the one would say they couldn't either. I started off with 4 bridesmaids and 1 jr. bridesmaid. One of them dropped out. So I decided to make the jr. a regular. Well she got flakey because she has a dance competion that weekend and couldn't decide. So this weekend we (me and her mother) cut her from the wedding leaving me with 3 bridesmaids and 3 groomsman... Only 1 of these bridesmaids have thier dress... None of thier dresses will be the same.

Now for the groomsmen. Taranis doesn't have "friends" so he had no idea who he would want for a groomsman. Enter his brothers. Awesome we have 3 groomsmen. But we needed a 4th (at the time) and I wanted my best friend to be there who is in the Air Force. Enter his spouse, long story short he can't afford to come and neither can I afford to pay that amount of airfare after paying for someone else's airfare (another story) so he's out of the running. And it broke my heart. But before that we had one of joe's old college buddies as a 5th possible groomsmen incase we needed someone and he backed out because his wife is due around the time of our wedding. I love babies and I understand but I'm still sad... does that make me a bad person? Ok so maybe sad is a little understanded by that point I was kind of upset. 2 drop outs on groomsmen. 1 drop out on bridesmaids and a flakey bridesmaid... So we asked my brother Swift and he can't make it because of his own baby's birth and my other brother is stationed overseas right now and won't be able to make it and I'm not close to my other brother...

Now the lengths I go to have my way... I paid airfare for a dear friend of mine to come be at the wedding with me as my hair and makeup and photographer. I love her to peices would do anything! and she's coming!! bought her ticket. YAY. I am the happiest bride ever and things are finally starting to look up! I have ALL of the wedding items put together. MomI has 99% of everything together. We got my dress (after a huge bridezilla moment where I thought I was going to uninvite BioMom from everything) and my veil is made and Taranis' mom is making my garters because I can't find ones I like. She's also buying the men's attire. All i have left now is the ushers' outfits...

Then we have an usher drop out. My sisters' husbands are to be the ushers and 1 of them has backed out. Because of hunting season. Thankfully joe has made friends since we moved back home and we had a replacement immediately! *score*

Ready to hear the devastating part? We've been planning this wedding for 2 years. Anyone and everyone knows that there are certain things in a wedding that happen. First of all you have bridal fittings and the MOB (mother of the bride) and MOG (mother of the groom) go out together with the bride (traditionally) and buy special dresses/clothes and coordinate and help the bride pick her dress and the maids come too for thier dresses, etc... So BioMom calls me the other day and she says she got her invite it's so beautiful and wants to tell me her itenerary. It has nothing to do with the rehearsal nor does it include staying for the reception. We got a cabin for her and her husband so he could stay sober long enough to attend the ceremony and then go get drunk in thier cabin. He's a booozer. And I don't like him. I told her about the sand ceremony and that we'd like for her participate. I told her about the reception. ETC ETC ETC. So now we're giving up a cabin. And she wont be attending the rehearsal. She'll just be at the ceremony and leave right after so she wont be driving down the mountain at dark. HELLO THAT'S WHY WE GOT THE FREAKIN CABIN FOR YOU FOR TWO NIGHTS... but I should not get upset, she's going to stay with her mom. That's fine... I'm over it. Whatever. What upsets me the most is she says we never had those conversations.

And after all that I realized last night that altho we might not be CLOSE anymore she is still dear to my heart and ArmyGirl should be in my wedding, I was her Maid of Honor, we were fresh out of high school... So I'm going to ask her this week. I'll have 4 bridesmaids and 3 groomsmen again. After all why let a bouquet go unused? And it's not hard for mom to make another boutenier if we find another groomsman.