Saturday, October 10, 2009

liquid smoke

i apologize for any mistakes in grammer or spelling...i can't go back and proofread this.... writing it was hard enough

i got a glass of mt dew this morning and the cats swarmed me trying to get at it...

you'll be happy to know that Nilla did NOT chew on her plastic tubes lastnight. instead she ran in her wheel!

and Lo-Jack did not get out.

Drake (my siamese male) will sit on the couch and stare at the family photographs back there. It seems to me he's looking more to the one in the middle that's a picture of him and Mysterie (my 3yrs deceased hymalayan)...and I wonder if he looks at that picture of him and her and remembers her... They were very closely bonded.

When I was in highschool I had a friend who had a litter of kittens and the mom didn't make it and alot of the kittens didn't either. He did his best to keep them alive until he could find good homes for them. I got the Orange one. Spike. Oh he has a handsome fat cat! Well, not at first! lol But got there. And altho daddy said "no more pets Jenny!" I just had to have my Spike!! (Spike de Vampyre after you guessed it my love of TV vampire Spike on Buffy. ArmyGirl had it for Angel I had it for Spike. We were always destined to be oposites but still the greatest of friends forever!) We had 2 miniature chinese sharks daddy got from a Lady that he mowed her yard. She didn't like they'd eat her goldfish!! Guess her kids didn't think of that huh?! And we had this purplish blue crawdad lookin thing from the same lady. We kept them in seperate tanks... And as long as we bought fish that were the same size as the sharks they didn't try and eat them!

Fastforward a few and I got handed to me Scalawag from Coolio. I can't remember now why he couldn't keep her at first when his mom still lived there. he named her. i think maybe she was allergic? And a few years later when I was living at his house she ran out the door never to be seen again. It was really sad! but he found her a stray and sometimes they never get the wild out of thier hearts.

And then it was just good ole spike again.Me and my buddy! He was always a loveable guy. Liked to be held. Didn't mind riding in cars. He was so fat and furry and handsome! I'd take him cruising with me!

When I got my first apartment a friend of mine asked me since I was a cat lover if I'd want another one. I told her no but she showed me pictures and I could tell right away that Winston was a keeper and so I said yes and I became the proud owner of a short haired domestic white and tan male. I came home from work to find him laboring to breathe on the floor. There was blood around his mouth. I took him to the vet and he had a hole in is lung. a birth defect his body could no longer maintain. He died that day. I was very distraught. I swore I'd never have another animal was just going to be me and Spike forever! I'd only had him 3 months and I askd the vet to dispose of him. I felt like I'd failed him...I wish now I'd kept him.

And then I went to visit a friend of mine who's Siamese cat had babies...Oh she pressured me into seeing them. And there was one that stood out from the crowd. And he walked over to me and just sat there looking at me... I gave in. I said "ok, I'll take him/her". And I did. I was reading a book about this colony of dragons and one of thier leaders was named Drakkus de Elder and so I named him Drakkus de Elder Thyme. My friend Everlight said that it felt like Drake was an old soul and suggested I add Time and I made it Thyme for my love of cooking!! I remember me saying "Spike, I need your help. I need you to help me train this little guy. Make sure he pottys in the right place". And Spike picked up Drake by his neck and took him to the litter box and pushed his butt down on the sand! I was in awe. No hissing. No "get this ass away from me" just total love. The same way he was with all other cats. A gentlegiant.

Flashfoward about 6 months now? It's a cold and rainy night. We're across the street from our townhouse complex at the local hangout when a former hs acquantance pulls up with her mom... We're talking to them and I notice something on the front seat. I said "what is that a rat?!" and she said "oh no, that's my daughters' kittten. she's not very good with her." guessed it a little kitten being abused and neglected. so I said "Can I hold her" and once I had her in my arms they went into the store for drinks and to pay for thier gas...I just walked away with the kitten in my arms. She was so bad. We took her to the vet. I explained the situation to him and he said he didn't think there was anything he could do but he'd try. We left her with him. We went and visited daily. We ended up calling her "the mystery cat" while she was in the hospital. and then his nurse called and i knew it was bad news but she said we could come and pick her up!! that we were the proud owners of a Hymalayan and as soon as her furr grew back and she finished all her meds and mended she'd be so preetty!! And she was. she was beautiful!! The vet walked in with her in his arms and said "it was touch and go. i believe she's stable now. it had to be devine intervention. she was ment to be yours." and handed her to me. And that was how she got her name: Mysterious Devyne.

So here we have 3 cats. Spike (the oldest), Drake & new addition Mysterie. H's brother moves in with his cat Satan. and we tried to adopt a black cat named Miss Diva and Tan & Cream cat we named Maige Intuition. We ended up giving Diva away to a single cat home. She never got along with the other cats. And then Spike suddenly got very ill. He dropped all his weight in less than a week. It was so quick. I rushed him  to the vet that confirmed Spike had feline lukemia. He'd never had it before & we always got them vaccinated. He said we had a choice: put him to sleep or give him meds to try and make his quality of life better...I couldn't stand to put my Spike asleep. I shut him up in my bedroom upstairs. We got the other cats in the house tested and washed everything from top to bottom. Maige and Spike positive. Maige showing no signs or symptoms... Satan, Drake & Myst negative. He was deeply concerned about her already suppressed immune system due to her early months in life...

A month later Spike died on my bed. I came home and Juggalo said to H said that all the cats were trying to get under the door. He opened it, they rushed in. Jumped on the bed and sat around Spike. He said Spike stared at Drake. Meowed and quit breathing. The cats left but Drake stayed next to him. We had a memorial funeral thing and I had him cremated...Drake has never left my side since. They swear that Spike was giving Drake his orders that he is in charge now. I've heard that from alot of people saying animals do that in a pack.

Maige continued to live with no symptoms for a year. And then he got sick. and I couldn't do to him what I did to Spike. It was too hard. The suffering, the loss. The injections. The pain... I put him to sleep. He was cremated.

And for years and years it was Drake & Myst. Those 2 were so close! Literally inseperable. And then I moved to chicagoland. And then she got sick. I had just gotten them thier vaccinations and shots. They'd just been tested in arkansas and they were both fine! And out of nowhere. She got sick. the vet said more than likely a flea got on her from Crystal's dogs and it was diseased. It ate away at her like Aids and that's exactly what it was, feline Aids. There was nothing to do. After all those years ago I risked theft charges to save her life and this?! this is what she was going to die from! too early in our lives she was taken away from me. I felt so lost. And Drake just cried and meowed for weeks and weeks. I know he missed her so much. When I came home from the vet and my arms were empty he just sat there looking at me so accusingly. It broke my heart even more.

The loss of Spike was devasting but the loss of Mysterious seemed to hit me like no other grief I had ever felt before. I had her cremated. All 3 of them are in urns in my living room in the TV cabinet. I have a special Tarot deck for all of them. I have retired the decks and they are with them next to thier urns. Drake and Kai have thier own decks too.

When Mysterious passed away I was looking through my very first deck of Tarot cards and the Fool was gone. It was there before she died I know it was. (The Fool being my soul card everytime I've ever drawn a spread that showed a soul card it came up the Fool) And that is how the Tarot Deck honoring starting. I placed the deck at her feet. It felt like I had lost my soul when she died. Its with her. Altho she was never interested in working with Tarot, it was only right to give her that deck. And then I took the deck I worked with when me and Spike use to do the cards together and put them at his feet. And then I took the set I'd never used but I bought because they reminded me of Maige and put them at his feet. I have 3 decks now that are in use: the Dragon tarot for Drake, the Goddess Oracle for Kai and the Cosmic Tarot for myself.

And so after I've sworn off pets forever it was going to be just Drake for all eternity...I now have 2 hamsters and another cat. The losses of my prior children were devastating. But I have a big heart. And alot of love to give. And if they're with me, then I know they are in a good home!

Spike de Vampyre
Spring 1998- Spring 2001

Maige Intuition
Autumn 2000-February 2002

Mysterious Devyne
October 2000 - October 2006

Drakkus de Elder Thyme
Born May 2000

Anunnaki Nysa (Kai)
Born April 2009