Sunday, May 10, 2009

once you stalk you just can't stop?

Anyone else out there "check in" on someone that they dislike?

Is it unhealthy? Is it stalking?? Its just reading thier profile information... thier status updates. They don't even know I'm doing it! Tell me that makes it right...

But I know its wrong, because everytime I go there I am hoping and praying to see "sad" or "dissapointed" and I am SO elated everytime I do... Wow her miserableness just makes me so damn happy!!!

So how can I get this person out of my head? I am pretty sure that if she knew where to find me online she'd be doing it too, especially since I have a blog. I just wish her shit wasn't locked up to friends only...

I gotta stop checking in on her accounts but somehow I just can't stop!! I want to see her fail and I want to see her miserable. I want to see her in the kind of pain and misery she caused me to be in for a while. I want to inflinct upon her the pain that I feel still because of her.

Yes, its scary and its unhealthy. No, it wont go beyond stalking her updates. I'm not going to go out there and kill her. I hope that eventually it all just drops away.

I have never met her face to face. But she's also another reason I want to move away from Illinois. I do not want to be in the same state she's in. When we planned our trip to Florida I learned from her updates a few days later SHE was going to be there at the same time. Secretly I wished we'd run into her so I could punch her in the face. But she was in a different part of Florida than we.

I know its unhealthy and I know its not cool and I know I know I know. But I HATE her and I want to make sure she is no where near me... I'm afraid I'd hurt her really badly if I ever saw her face to face... And she lives too close for comfort... Yes, she does... She really does.

I got issues, dude. I got serious issues regarding this person. And I must get her out of my head.

And just to clarify: checkin on her updates is one thing... physically seeking her out is another thing entirely and I do have that much self control...

god forbid we ever see each other by accident........