*lots of incoherant screaming*
i didn't sleep again lastnight...atleast not immediatly. the lastime i'd looked at the clock it was 4am. and ofcourse i woke up prompty at 8am. but tried to go back to sleep. laid in bed for a few more hours. just tossing and turning.
and ofcourse i feel drained. i want to cry. i want to scream. i want to yell. and i don't want to do anything that i'm suppose to do. my fingers are twitchy. my toes wont stay still. i feel like a regular addict waiting for thier next fix and the guy is stuck in traffic.
i feel depressed. i havn't cleaned the kitchen yet. i havn't vacuumed since sunday. i didn't even dust monday. i have a routine, i have a set way of what i do. i havn't fucking been walking either and today and yesterday were wonderful days for it.
drew myself up a bath to soak in and do "womanly things" and after sitting in the tub for 5 seconds said fuckit and got out.
someone help me. i'm lost and hurting and godsdamnit i didn't realize that trying to stop smoking would feel like this. everyother time i've tried i didn't get past the first 24 hours before i'd go and buy another pack (more in most instances).
i don't know if i can do this!
Hang in there. You have to stick with it to get by the cravings (after the realy, really bad they diminish).
ReplyDeleteHave you tried the nicotine products that let you wean yourself off (gum, patch, etc.)?