always fun for a laugh...

and a small scare...

ok so Suburban Housewife walks into the Spa sat night. Totally pissed that it's raining/snow mix AND they have to walk outside from the main building to the "rec" building (the building i work in). she keeps going on and on and on... finally the rest of the suburban we wanna get drunk somewhere besides home gang get her down to the bar/bowling alley where they stay put for a few hours and I don't see them.

Next thing I know my happy blissfull quiet world is shattered by "ok, we have to walk outside, my kids are gonna die of pneumonia from being wet in the cold, can we atleast have beer in the pool" --my response "no ma'am, there is no food or drink allowed in the pool area except bottled water." her response "well that's just fucking great" and the Suburban Family (3 families btw) leave. I guess she's the Suburban Housewife spokesperson for this particular group.

--mind you there are *many* black people this weekend, some sort of church function...i don't get it, wtf is thier church doing to allow them to go to resorts and spas and get treatments done and spend time in a bar bowling and drinking? but that's besides the point--

about 45 mins later the Suburban Dads show up. They have a cooler. Apperantly they missed the memo on "no beer in the pool" and ask if they can drink it in the lobby (1 person 1 beer at a time) while the others were in the pool area with the kids. That's fine I say. And then we have the Suburban Moms showup and the Queen starts her shit so I tell them that it's ok as long as it's in plastic cups but they have to leave the cooler out in the lobby.

30 minutes go by and the front desk manager calls me and asks me why there is people drinking in the pool area. i try to explain and he says security would be over soon. well, security shows up about 20 mins later and i'm trying to explain to him about the queen bitch of all suburban housewives and how mean and rude she was when the same lady comes walking down the hallway from the bar, completely sloshed and drunk carryin on and on about how black people hate her and how she loves black people but no fucking way Obama would be president, blah blah blah. Security explains to her and her group that NO beer or alchohol may be consumed ANYWHERE but in the bar. and no outside booze. well, atfirst we thought she was going to hit the fan in a mad spree, instead:

she's telling us how great we are and how wonderful this is and that is, blahblahblah. well, the security guy goes to check on a few other things in the building, introduce himself to the bartender (new security guy) and all that jazz and here I am left with Queen Suburban Housewife crying over how Obama and black people make her sick cuz they hate her cuz she's white.

Next thing *I* know, she asks me if I'm gonna vote for Hillary and I say yes, trying anything to get this woman away from me and wishing for security to hurry and her family to hurry up and freakin leave. and then, bombshell...she's behind my desk and she says "your a bitch, your a real fucking bitch, Jenny" and she's smiling so I just smile back and say "thank you" and the next thing I know, her hand is on my breasts and she's trying to kiss me and asking me to her hotel room.

Her daughters walk up at this point, obviously embarassed by mom and what she's doing and she finally leaves me alone after telling me her room number in the hotel and sayin that she'll see me when I get off work for some "Hillary Clinton Fun" -- I swear that's what she said...

I've had people hit on me when they were drunk and leaving the building, but NEVER have I actually had someone COME BEHIND MY DESK and start touching me that way and trying to kiss me and shit... yes, she was a very attractive lady on the outside, her being drunk made her completely unattractive. I feel sorry for her kids having to watch thier Mom be that way. I feel sorry for her too.

Man, what I weekend. Friday was absolutely dead and then Saturday I get "manhandled" by a drunk Suburban Housewife...I wonder what Sunday will bring?