just a moment, please

so, things are slowly progressing in the utmost of positive manners in regards to my love life. I never realized that I could feel so much happiness just being in the same room with someone. The anticipation of waiting for him to get home every night kills me and then he walks in the door and breathes new life into me. it is absolutely amazing. and you know what else is amazing? he stopped by on his lunch break today, had to drop off his rent money to Crystal (long story) and while he was here he mentioned that tomorrow he more than likely wouldn't be at the Spa for my lunch break, that he was going out to shoot pool with his buddies. And you know what? no reaction from me. meaning no spurt of paranoia, fear, nothing. absolute trust in him that he is going and doing what he said he is. no 2nd guessing and no doubts.

like i said, things are looking up. i'm learning to trust again. i'm learning to love again. and its only taken me what? 2 1/2 years. better late than never.

we have a secret, a little project we're hopefully going to be working on soon in full force. i love secrets. haha i can't tell you! pfffft!!!

and on the other hand. things seem to be progressing worse and worse with my so-called-friend. so much however that in regards to this person i'm nearly almost constantly in tears and have broke down into tears a few times over them. it got so bad one day i nearly called my dad and asked if i could go back home. to shatter everything that i had with Taranis just to get away from this one person.

thankfully, Taranis pulled me out of it and made me realize that running is not the answer. i would do nothing but hurt myself worse if i ran than just fight the good fight and ignore the bad. so here i am, still in chicago, writing to you on my bed of passion with my Drake lying next to me.

Going to work soon. ah, work. pfffft. how lame.

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Feeling: i don't know why i just am


Listening to: traffic, always the fucking traffic