As you can imagine

Lastnight was nothing compared to Thursday night! But in itself was awesome --once I got off work, lol.

You know what I'm tired of? People talking shit. And I'm not meaning talking shit as in bad mouthing. The talking shit I'm refering to are those that I 'connect' with musically and they are all 'yea lets get together lets see what we can do, I know a few people that are looking for a fresh start with a new/fresh singer and they would love to back up a hot chic with an amazing voice' etc etc etc and it goes on and on. So, we exchange digits and it goes like this: Wait a few days, they never call. Ok. Call them. Get no answer. Leave a voice mail. Wait a week. Delete thier number.

A friend of mine (and this girl is so fucking awesome, I love her to pieces, I know me and her will have a wonderful friendship for a long time) said that she wants to be my groupie and go gaga over me on stage. Both her and her boyfriend work at CR. He's a bartender she's a waitress. They come out on thier nights off (when they're not working a thurs) to see me sing. JUST TO SEE ME SING! ME! and hangout. I told her she could be a groupie and I asked her man if he'd like to be a roady. And his response was 'hell yes! stand up on the stage in front of screaming fans cheering for thier band while tuning guitars, definatly' I then said "so you play?" and he said yes. And I said "screw roady your in the band!" and we all laughed and it was a great time. THEM I know they are serious unlike these other fucks I've met up with.

I've had bad timing my ENTIRE life! I do not need anymore bad timing with this. I'm going out there, I'm putting myself out there and no one is biting and if they do, its just a nibble for a second and swim away. I realized Thursday night that *I* should be up there on that stage. That should be ME with fans screaming and holding out thier hands for me to touch them and dying just to be near me.

I don't want to "make it famous" I want to make people happy. And listening to me sing makes alot of people happy. EVERYTIME I walk into CR i have people saying "sing for me, sing for me" and I have to sing a few songs for them. And once I get going no one wants me to stop. But its 'embarassing' to me to be put on the spot light like that, so I sing one or two and that's it.

However, if it was ME up on the STAGE then it'd be different.

I don't make promises anymore, but I am going to make this one. When I make it 'big' (atleast locally maybe nationally if I'm lucky) I wont be one of those that just walk off the stage and back to my tour bus. I'll make sure I carve away a few hours SOMEHOW to meet with my fans and sign autographs, etc. Even if its before the show.

This needs to happen. I can feel it burning inside of me. I was born to be a rock star.