Almost that time again...

and I can't say that I'm happy about it, either. (to go back to the spa)

Atleast one thing that helps ALOT! did happen yesterday, I got paid. I wasn't expecting a paycheck from them, but I did. And that gave me enough money to put gas in my car, buy Drake his food & get some necessary items (shampoo, conditioner, etc). However, I just know that NEXT check is going to be really bad because I'm only gettin paid from 1 place, the firm, and I know I have alot of bills to pay in a few weeks *sigh*.

I've been running through my mind the whole 'quitting smoking' thing again. Part of me wants to quit and the other just doesn't really fucking care. I like to smoke. If I'm stressed out or something is buggin me, I go outside and light one up. It helps me calm me down and chill. If I'm stuck in rush hour traffic and I'm starting to get annoyed, light one up. If I'm waiting for someone and I arrived a little early or they are late? Light one up. I'm not a BIG smoker. I'm more of a stress/social smoker. 1 pack will last me about 4 days. Unless I'm at the bar, then its a whole pack in one night and I literally don't smoke at all the next day. I get grief from Crystal all the time telling me to quit. And I know that people sayin "You should quit" to me makes me want to smoke more. I'll light up in front of them just to prove my point.

I'm good about that. When H & I first started dating he told me my hair was beautiful and I was never allowed to cut it (down to my bum bum) and what did I do? The next weekend he saw me, he didn't recognize me. Not only did I cut it off to my chin, I dyed it platinum. You shoulda seen the look on his face! But I was miserable with my short hair.

Its down to the small of my back now. Taken me 10 years nearly to grow it back out. But I've wacked it off more than I should have instead of just a trim now and then. *shrug* Oh well.

My point is. I'm someone who will martyr themselves for nothing. If you tell me not to do something, I will die trying to do it just because you said 'NO' or "you shouldn't/can't" .....

Yea, I'm not too bright sometimes.