So my roomates bought the Nintendo Wii.

I've kinda had my eye on the PS3. I've had a PSone. Traded it in for a PS2 which I currently have. Guess I could always trade in my PS2 for the 3 since it is backwards compatable. We'll see. I just don't feel like spending that much money for it. Fucking expensive. And still has a few bugs. I think I'll do what I did with the 2 and just wait a while til the price drops and the buggies are fixed. Or as close to fixed as possible. That, and I'm not liking the review Game Informer game them on the whole screen compatability. Looks like I might have to invest in a new tv as well when I do. *sigh*

My super nintendo died on me. So, that sucks. I can't play my mortal kombat. Or street fighter. Or Gradius III. I still have my mustang & ford racing games I play on the 2. There are a few games that looking really interesting that I wouldn't mind checking out that are for the 3. And ofcourse there are games I would like to play still that are on the 2. I'm just such a freakin penny pincher when it comes to my money. Even tho I want it, I wont always let myself have it.

But, I did splurge on myself lastnight. I bought a new deck. Its called the Dragon Tarot by Terry Donaldson. I also got the Witches almanac for 2007 as well as a book (its about 2 1/2 to 3 inches thick) on nothing but Gemini trivia, etc. Its sweet. And I bought the Grimoire for the Green Witch by Ann Moura that I've had my eye on for a long time now. I would say that the bonus check I got from theFirm that I wasn't expecting went to good use.

I added my old decks to my 'alter of the dead' or whatever you wanna call it. I've had 3 'babies' pass away. (Still haven't found an urn for Mysterious Devyne) I was on the phone with someone special lastnight and we were talking about the new deck. I broke it out while we were talking and looking through it. Drake is obsessed with this deck. And I asked him if he wanted it to mine and his deck and he loved all over it. Which reminded me that I had 'put away' Spike's deck that I had bought when he was alive for me and him to work with. I took it out of its special place and put it next to his urn on the alter.

Then I realized something. The 3 decks that I have 'retired' have each something in common with the 3 of my babies that have passed on....

The first deck I'd ever owned is the mini Rider Wait deck. I used it to find my Soul, Personality & Spirit card during my first learning days. The Fool came up for all 3 spreads which means it is my Soul, Personality & Sprit card. Which fits seeing as how I'm a gemini.

Well, not to long after Hephaestus & I got married, that card dissapeared out of that first deck. I broke it out to show a friend of mine cuz they had never seen a mini deck before. And low and behold, we notice its gone. The Fool card that is. So it was permantly retired but I'd never toss it, oh no. But I had the Cosmic tarot that I was working with as my main deck at that point in time so it didn't hamper anything.

As you all may remember when Mysterious died in October I felt like I had lost my Soul. That my spirit would not go on and she had so much of my peronality in her. I've honored her with that deck. It now sits next to her on the alter.

And then I have the Gothic Vampire Tarot. I had aquired it the same way I had aquired Maige. Someone thought I'd enjoy it (My mentor) and gave it to me (the deck). A friend of mine thought that I'd be a better home for Maige than her, so she gave him to me. Both had a magickal quality about them that took my breathe away. Sometimes I'd break out the Gothic Vamp and work with Maige a little with it. He was my magickal baby. And so now, the Gothic Vampire deck rests with Maige.

I now have a deck for all of my children. For all of my familairs on this journey that I've followed for a long time. And ofcourse, I have my own personal deck and that one has been the Cosmic deck for about 6 years now, I think.

The Dragon Tarot is now Drake's; its the Mythical creatures he was named after. I think there is a reason why I was moved to buy that deck yesterday. It is a time for me & him to move forward spiritually together. And he is my little dragon. I think he's going to be an excellent source and guide just like Spike was. And I believe this was Spike's intention all along. I could feel him urging me on to buy it. Altho at the time I wasn't sure why until I was explaining what some of the cards ment and describing the symbolism used to my friend over the phone and there is Drake staring intently and listening in fascination.

Spike learned the tarot fast and was always a great help when I was stumped. Drake has tried in the past and I never put 2 & 2 together to equal 4 until now.

I might be down to One. And that's how I began, was with One. With Spike. Just me and my Son. After Spike passed away Drake seemed to have stepped in and taken over the roll that Spike had. He started following me around. Never letting me out of his sight, etc. I knew that he had been charged. It was time to move forward. I miss my Spike so very much. And I miss my daugther as well. And ofcourse I miss my Maige Intuition, he was always right there when we were casting a circle and talking about paganism. But they are with us both in our hearts, minds & spiritually. I can feel them everyday when I wake up and every night when I lay my head down to sleep, I can still feel them taking thier positions. Mysterious at my Head curled in front of my face on her side of the Pillow. Spike behind my head with his paw on my cheek. Maige laying at the back of the thighs/knees. And ofcourse never to be out done, Drake sleeping on top of my chest/back depending if i'm on my tummy or back.

Now more than ever, I finally feel content. I finally feel like I'm not missing anything in my life. Now more than ever I feel like I am where I need to be, doing what I need to be doing.

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Feeling: Content


Listening to: "Single" by Natasha Beddingfield