Ok, so thier is this guy, HockeyGuy. HG and I have been talking for a long time, and we've been trying and trying to make plans forever now. Especially to see one of his games. Something always keeps comming up, etc etc.
Finally, yesterday, nothing comes up. And we go out. First we go to his hockey game and then we go play pool and then we go to the movies. I called Crystal and told her I was gonna sleep on his couch. Which, I didn't. I slept in his bed with him. We ended up making out for a while and we made love. I can't call it sex, because it was so full of emotion and passion. It was mind blowing. Just easy smooth love making. It was wonderful.
Yet, I am confused. When he dropped me off at my house this morning, he only hugged me goodbye.
Now I feel bad and terrible and I hate myself for doing it with him. And I hate myself even more for the fact that he says he's looking for 'sparks' when he meets someone. Well, the way he was kissing me, etc I'd say thier was some sparks. However, he just hugged me goodbye. It was a long hug, yes. But I don't fucking know.
And then, I'm a stupid school girl and ASK HIM via txt message to his phone if he felt his sparks. how much of an idiot am I ???
If he doesn't call me or txt me or something within a week, I imagine I blew it, or I was a fuck, he got his nut off and whatever. thier are more fish out there in the sea, yea I know this...but I like him SO much. I really do.
WTF is wrong with me.
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