Storms

I awaken this morning to crashes of thunder and flashes of lightning. So beautiful and calming. I dont know what it is, but I love storms.

Alas, the sun is breaking through the clouds. Its gettin hot and muggy. The day is becomming a lazy and stagnant day.

Summer is just too hot to do anything. All I wanna do is stay under the air conditioning or goto the lake and swim all day. Neither one is good for you. Lazin around the house is bad for your health. And Stayin out under the sun and gettin burnt isn't good for ya either, let alone good for my tats (dont want those puppies to fade).

So, like I said... Its a lazy day. I felt partially energized when I awoke to the storm. Now I'm feeling all lazy assed. I should break out the treadmill and walk on it for a bit.... I should take out my Yoga and Pilates tapes and work out to them... I should do alot of thing, clean the kitchen, Vacuum the floors, sort laundry *Do the laundry*, clean the bedroom, clean the apartment... Now, dont think its a pig's sty, if you know me in real life, you know that could never be! Its just a little rough around the edges. And we really dont have room for all the junk that we do have. I really need to go through closets and throw away stuff and try and get rid of some of this shit. I'm a pack rat, but I'm not a pack rat. We just basically right now have too small of a place to live. Its 2 bedrooms, 1 bath, living, kitchen, dining. My bedroom is packed with our bed, 2 large dressers, my computer/office stuff, and my (our) alter. The closet has totes filled with Hephaestus's computer stuff and no telling what else. He has so many ripped pairs of jeans that he doesn't want to throw away, the closet is literally overflowing. Now, the spare bedroom, it has my old computer desk that Hephaestus uses, a white (very large) work table, 3 book shelves, a bar type table with our roommate's computer on it and his dresser. That closet is filled (over flowing) with our roommate's clothes and all his stuff. We definatly need a bigger place. But Hephaestus says we can't move until either A- I get a job or B- Jugalo (roommate) gets a job and keeps it atleast 2 months solid. Ya, right now Hephaestus is the only one working. Jugalo was working for a bit, he's had 2 jobs since he came up here, and well, I dont wanna talk about it... I'll put it to ya this way, if I was home, I would probably have bullied him into staying at those jobs. Hephaestus, he can't tell anyone no.

SO, I am having a hard time trying to find a job right now... We have only 1 vehicle and its hot, SO fucking hot outside... I can't walk around in this heat all over Fort Smith, AR to find a job. And I really dont feel "right" about putting in my resume via mail/email/fax and have them call and I can't get there cuz its too far to walk, or walk and get there all smelly and nasty and sweaty. I can't use the money we do have to taxi's or public transit cuz Hephaestus needs it for commuting. And I found out today he's going to OKC in the morning then back up north to Bentonville again later that night... I dont think all that driving is in our Budget... Which sucks badly.

I dont know... I really wanna work, I do. But I can't walk in this heat. I can't walk around Fort Smith in this heat. Not to be selfish, but I really really wish Jan could have found a way for me to beable to have that Van... That would have helped alot... I guess I'm just going to have to try and stick it out (hope that Jugalo finds a job, he says he doesn't mind walking in the heat) save up our money while trying to catchup bills and crossing my fingers we'll have a few hundred saved up we can get a decent car for around town and for me to try and find a job with and to be able to get back n forth with... We'll see.