Saturday, April 11, 2009

life in limbo

sometimes i wish i had never moved up here to chicagoland. sometimes i wish this so hard but then i realize that i met my man up here and i kick myself for wishing him out of my life..

(dramatic? probably)

my life is at a stand still. this is because of "responsibilities" and "trying to do the right thing". Wedding: 2 years away. Why? Our lease is up in Oct of 2010. That is also our last furniture payment. Our lease goes month to month to month after that.

why April? Its pretty. And its the only month that doesnt have something bad or something in our previous lives tainting it. Or one of our birthdays. Its also a beautiful month to get married in.

So now do you see why I'm in limbo? I sit here urging for the time to fly by. I sit here urging myself to not go crazy. I want to move to Florida. Where its beautiful and warm and I don't have to worry about freakin snow and I can go walking year round (since that's the only thing I can do!).

So here I sit. In Limbo. I can't truly make plans because its too soon. But I can't sit back and not think and my mind races. I have planned out our budget and a savings plan so that when we put in our notices and we leave our jobs in April 2011 we will have enough to live off of in Arkansas for a month before we go on our honeymoon and then to Florida to live.

I just hope and pray that the economy is better by then and we have no troubles at all seeking employment and obtaining income.

The good thing is most likely we'll take over his Mom's place and she'll go move in with her Mom. That would be great, we could drive to Florida unload our shit and then drive to Arkansas until the big day.

My mind won't stop, even on my blog i'm racing ideas in my head, lol.