Happy Sweet 28th Birthday To Me!!!

***please note I was kinda wary talking about this seeing as how I don't know who reads this and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings because I do LOVE all of my friends here in Chicago, we just don't seem to be on the same wave length anymore***

so we all know that I had my "party" on Friday... I think that it would have been a greater success if I'd just kept it me and Joe and 1 or 2 others. I can tell you now I would have had a better time.

Don't get me wrong, I love my friends but I don't think that I made the greatest in choices of what to do on that night. The drinking: I wasn't into it... The partaking of shots: I really wasn't into... The loud talking: I wasn't into it... The neighbor downstairs acting like a stupid jerkoff: definatly wasn't into it... Some nice converstation and maybe a beer or two just hanging out and barbequeing: Definatly into it!

Which I guess means that I'm growing up? The other people who attended are my age, even older! 10 years older... I just don't get it/understand it. How did I get from "party? lets get drunk and stupid" to "ah well, maybe I'll have 1 beer and the rest coke"... I don't want to get drunk. I don't even want to drink the one beer. And I'd hate to lose my friends but it seems like all of them just want to drink drink and drink some more.

I use to be the girl that'd bring in my own bottle(s) of Jack and chug em all night long. Now just the thought of having a drink makes me ...well I'm not sure what it makes me but it doesn't bring up a happy feeling.

so lets see how much has changed in the past 10 years... You might wanna check this out for recent answers for comparison

In JUNE 1998

How old were you?
18

Where did you go to school?
I'd just graduated Clarksville High School in Arkansas

Where did you work?
Tanning Salon

Where did you live?
Clarksville, AR

Where did you hang out?
lakes, country backroads

How was your hair?
chin length and platinum

Did you have glasses?
yes and contacts

Who WAS your best friend?
Coolio

Who was your regular-person crush?
Hephaestus

How many tattoos did you have?
1

How many piercings did you have?
13

What car did you drive?
didn't have one,yet

What was your worst fear?
getting my own place to live and becoming an adult

Had you been arrested?
yes i had just got out of jail

Had your heart broken?
not quite yet, H & I were pretty steady and good at the time.

Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter?
very taken

I have no idea what this is suppose to prove to myself.

I don't want to drink. I don't want to party. I don't want to smoke weed. Anything that I did prior to the past 3 years of me living in Chicago makes me cringe. Hell, anything I did prior to us moving back to Arkansas from Virginia makes me cringe... after Virginia was about it on the whole partying scene for me.

I don't even know why I have beer in the fridge or any alcohol for that matter besides cooking with it. Joe said that maybe I'm becoming more mature and that goes to prove that Maturity does not come with age. I see this every weekend.

I think I've just become a more boring person in my 28 years.

*********end talking about my birthday weekend*********

Now, on to other matters. Why someone would inflict such pain on themselves on a "special" day I have no idea but at the time the appointment was made the only days off I had were mondays which would make sense, right? I had my biospies done today. Talk about painful. I hurt *sniffle* really badly *cringes* damn doctors.

She's keeping me on the medications that she's had me on for a year now. Atleast for the next few months. I'll need a followup appointment with her later, I'll call and find out when. I'm sure it'll be when the biopsy results come in.

Good news she said that if everything comes back fine she'll give me the name of a specialist to go see and get me and Joe knocked up with babies. Maybe that's why I'm not all into the whole lets party and get drunk thing. I want babies. and I had babies I was taking care of back home til H & I split up. She said that since I'd been on chlomid for 9 months before back in 2004 that it wouldn't be a good idea to start with her from the very beginning to just go see a specialist and see what they have to say. She feels that a fertility specialist would benefit us much better. So all I gotta do is wait (2-6 weeks) for today's test results and her to give me that all clear that we have no more cancer (again) in my womanlies and for me to get a job that has insurance because we know Joe and I aren't getting married anytime soon so I need to get some insurance! (I need insurance anyways but people are more apt to want to help me have a baby if I have insurance)

Today's appointment cost me $200 upfront and they'll bill me the rest. if I'd had insurance it would have been 20 bucks. Fuckin sucks ass. Nothing I can do about it except find another job that has decent insurance, right? Right...

Now, time to kick ass on sneezy!