I wont say it was ruined

But my actions and giving into my cravings sure probly didn't help much... 16 year old boys are so delicious!

Just kidding!

Actually what I did was this: I broke down lastnight (Friday) and a piece of cake at the spa. It was a "going away" cake for our Head Manager who is being replaced by her assistant who is going to be running the whole show for now on (the one I think hates me). And then, tonight I stopped off at Burger King (tried McDonald's for a McFlurry but those bastards were closed already) and had mozzarella sticks and a strawberry milk shake....

ugh I am so bad sometimes. but i'm going to do something tomorrow, which will maybe equalize it out... Does laying out/tanning burn lots of calories? I know your baking in the sun so I figure its got to burn more than just regular lounging around the house, right?

here's the deal: my ass is tired of being WHITE. Yea, I know I'm a white chic and I dont want to change that, I just want a little color to my skin, a tan. Tomorrow we're all suppose to go to wally-world and I'm gonna pick up some SPF50 for my tats and then tanning exellerator for the rest of me (minus my face ofcourse) and I'm going to make it a thing that every sunday I layout and do this. Will once a week work? I'm sure I'll look pretty funny most of me tanned and then my tat spots have a white circle around em, lol.

Which reminds me of this funny story: Hephaestus, his mom and I took the boys to the lake at H'sAunts house (they are rich) and I had H put SPF50 on my tats. Well, I didn't think about putting anything on the rest of me so I ended up with white circles around my tattoos that were the only parts of me that didn't hurt. The rest, I was blood red and in serious pain. I was good about keeping the baby SPF50 on the boys but I was negligent on myself except my tats. That was a painful week, lol. But awesome memories.

I'm tired of bleach white legs and being self-conscious of them when I try to wear shorts during the summer. Which brings me to NO MORE CHEATING! If I except to get BACK into those shorts I was in last summer (along with my fave Camo capri pants and some of my fave shirts that are too small now for summer time) I need to get my ass in gear and stop cheating. Next check (this thursday) I'm going to MAKE myself have money enough to buy a cheap MP3 player and download "keep me active" music on it and go walking around the neighborhood. As well as I'm going to get a cheap pair of gym shoes in my truck so when I'm at the Firm I'm gonna eat lunch while working and then take a walk around the trail out there. As well as taking the stairs which I've been VERY good about. Too bad I can't do situps or crunches because of my back or else I'd be doing those too. Asked my Doc about it and he said don't risk it with the muscle on the left side having 2 scars now from tears and then ofcourse the 2 herniated disks in my lower back. Defiantly don't want to aggravate those old injuries so walking will have to be sufficient.

Ok, enough of me rambling about my losing weight goals. I swore I'd never gain it back but something up here has caused me to do just that and I think alot of it has to do with stress. I'm not a big "eat when i'm stressed" person but I do crave lots of chocolate when I am and I'm sure that's a contributing factor. I'm going to get me some of that fat free low cal ice cream and see if its any good and if it is then I'll have that atleast and it wont kill my diet too badly.