Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away

Ya, I have an odd taste in music. I even love the Beatles. Thier song yesterday is SO freakin awesome.

But, it was worth me not blowing off work (I would have gotten fired) and blowing off my family (Swift would have been PISSED at me!)

I got to sit down and actually talk one on one with Swift. I've never been close with my older siblings. #1 because I grew up here in Arkansas and they all live in Indiana. I never have talked to BroB. SisterA I talk to occasionally on the phone. The ones I'm close to are ArmyBro, Pebbles, Swift and Raquel. You notice how I have nicknames for 4 but not the other 2? Me and ArmyBro are in the middle. He's in the Army (duh). Me and him are the closest in age.

Anyways, Swift and I are suppose to find sometime alone together this week before he goes back to Indiana. Thier leaving for Africa again in August and don't know when thier comming back. It could be years.

Mom and Dad don't seem to understand about me and my "spiritual" relationship(s) with a "higher power" and I got to talk about Swift about it lastnight and he says that he thinks that I am doing just great and keep doing what my heart is telling me to do.

I tried to talk to Mom again lastnight. And I honestly and forever will now believe that thier is never any talking to her about anything like this. *Sigh* I guess I should just try and live with the "They know I'm not a bad person and my heart's in the right place" -- atleast thats what they tell me. But they keep trying to encourage "Christianity" on me. I don't even put a label on myself. WHY would I want that LARGE of a label on me? I don't think I have to call myself ANYthing to be that thing.

Anyways, thats besides the point. I'm not "christian" I'm not really anything. I call myself a pagan because it fits who I am and what I "follow"/"believe"/"spiritual self" better. I cannot place into words for people to understand me and who I am. I have a Personal Goddess. She is someone who has qualities that I want to bestow into myself to make myself a better person. I have a Personal God as well, the same thing with him. Because of this people call me a Wiccan. I cringe from that like I cringe from Christian. Don't ask, but you should know already.

I'm always going to be a complicated person. Thats just me. And I'm never truly going to make anybody understand me and who I am and how I feel. So, I have to admit defeat (NONO! NOT defeat) and just go about it and say "oh well, I tried". I tried.

Thier is a Higher Power. This HP is the Earth, The Sun, the WHOLE Universe, our Galaxy. Everything. When we die, we go back into the HP. We are reborn as new life. Our bodies are put into the Ground, dead shells. What makes us human, our "souls/hearts" gets put back into the mixing bowl and new life is created. (Reason people have memories of past lives). Our body is now nourishment for the earth. HP is earth air fire water and spirit. We are mostly Spirit. HP is everything and everything is HP. Its one huge evolving circle. Renewing itself constantly.

I don't have time to elaborate. I gotta get ready for work, but I will continue this, I promise, for those that want to hear/read about it.

**And If I do this, do NOT comment on here that I'm wrong/I'm stupid, etc. You have the right to your Path and I have the right to my path, if you want to share your path, thats great. But DONOT try and convert me, please. I'm happy where I am**

Yesterday
All my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe
In yesterday

Suddenly
I'm not half the man I used to be
There's a shadow hanging over me
Oh, yesterday
Came suddenly

Why she
Had to go I don't know
She wouldn't say
I said
Something wrong now I long
For yesterday

Yesterday
Love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe
In yesterday

Why she
Had to go I don't know
She wouldn't say
I said
Something wrong now I long
For yesterday

Yesterday
Love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe
In yesterday

(hum to "I believe in yesterday")