Clearer head this morning

As I sit here drinking my coffee, smokin a cig, trying to wake up. I think of lastnight. Boy was I pissed. It took forever for me to go to sleep.

I'm not an angry person. I'm usually one of the most mild mannered people you'll meet. I've had my "angry" life when I was younger. Pickin fights, lookin for fights. I don't like who I use to be. I've calmed myself alot. And these days it takes alot for me to get upset/mad/angry. I am an emotional person, (not a cry baby, I rarely cry... except when I pissed, if I'm ever mad at you and see silent tears streaming down my face, you better run) but I'm not an angry person. When I say "emotional" I mean that I feel feelings strongly and get caught up in them.

Lastnight I was so caught up in my anger. You see, I've done some really stupid shit in my past. I know this, no one has to remind me of it. Trust me on that. However, I have put my past behind me. What I don't get is why people have to dig up old shit and throw it back in my face (Hephaestus did that ALOT). 1st and foremost, people talking shit about me, people who are supposedly my friends. Ya, that pisses me off the worse. You know, I was mad about what happened yesterday, but I could have easily gotten over it. But I was reminded of a certain person(s) who have been claiming "friendship" with me for a while now, who have been going around and starting false rumours, talking shit about me and all in all in general this is making my dad dissapointed in me. Why does he believe them? Does he believe them? I don't know. But he knows about my past, and ofcourse he's ashamed. I know that he's proud of me for turning my life around. But he's still ashamed.

I am my father's daughter. He is a mild tempered man. He didn't use to be. He's had his severe moments. He's a recovering alchoholic, so am I. I can control it now, and do. He just quit drinking. Neither of us anger easily. Never really been easily angered. But sometimes, we've had enough. And don't you dare stepup to us or your going down. And going down hard.

*edited out the parts that don't apply*

I aint got nothin ta say to you
I cant even believe you
You know what
Im too fly for this shit
You playin yourself

Look nigga
Whatchu think this is?
You treat me like a random chick
You done forgot who introduced you to rocks
And poppin all that cris an shit
Who letchu hit it from tha back
Anyway that chu like
And any debts i can pay tha price
I thought i was a chick you would make your wife
And now a bitch cant even stay tha night (You wack)
I cant even look in ya face
Witout wantin ta slap you
Damn i thank God i aint get that tatoo
You betta thank God i aint have tha strap boo
You aint even worth that trick get at chu
Matta fact
Trick get at dude
I'm convinced
Aint got shit ta ask you
And tell tha trifflin bitch
She can have you
I aint lookin atchu no more
Im lookin past you

When ma girl came through wit tha news
All i did was think about me and you like damn (Damn)
What a chick gotta do to get wit a real nigga
That know how to stay true like man (Man)
No more quarter ta eights
You betta hop on a bus or a cab
I shed so many tears
Cant believe how many years
Tha baddest bitch put up witch yo dusty ass (Yeah)
Now you know that im tha queen of Miami (Uh huh)
All that loud talkin, lying
Save that shit for ya mamy (Ha..Ha)
Sounds like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah (talk too much)
Im like uh huh, okay, wassup, shut up

(I cant take this no more)
No more No more

Now all my ladies say (Ohh Ohh)
If you feel me say (Ohh Ohh )
If you cant take no more say
No no no (no no no)
No no no (Ohh)

Thats why im packin up my jewels
Grabbin up my furs
Ill be back for all my shoes and purses
Watch me bounce
In my seven fourty five
Ill be ridin out
Cause I aint tryna hear it
Not this time