Bitch Bitch Bitch and Moan

I am SO miserable. I miss my Hephaestus so VERY VERY much. All I want to do is cry my eyes out. I can't sleep. I dont want to eat. I got too use to him being home. (he was home for about a month after my surgery..went on a over night service call here and there...mostly local stuff for a while, home every night)

So anyways, like I said, I'm completely miserable. And I can just FEEL myself getting depressed..which I'm doing anything I can think of to STOP it.

I'm sticking by my decision to go look for a job. I know its going to put alot of other people out, but I can't live for them! I have to live for me and Hephaestus and whats best for US. Talk about taking a spoonful of your own medicine. Its the EXACT Same thing I told my Mother-In-Law she needs to start doing. H'sMom NEVER has anytime for herself, she's run down and ragged because of other people, and what I feel is her incapability to say "no". JUST SAY NO MOM!!!!! Ya, right huh, mom? Me and You both are way too much alike. We do and do and do for others without even a thought to our own selves and we end up kicking ourselves in the asses....Boy, Hephaestus sure did marry his mother didn't he!

I love you mom, and I love those boys too. And you know I care about Mars and MarsWife. But damnit, I can't not work. Not with all those medical bills that are pilling up on my ass now. I have to do something about them.

My life is so fucking lame.

FUCK YOU CARDEALERSHIP! If you hadn't canned me for no DAMNED reason I'd still have a fucking JOB!!!!! or better yet, maybe I shouldn't be so goddamned GIVING and shouldn't have given Mars that other job! ..............no, I take that back, I'm glad I gave Mars that job, If i didn't thiers no telling what would be going on right now.....

*sigh*

off to bed with me

Til next time,
Jen